WE, THE GUARDIANS OF THE GENRE, DO VOW TO ABSTAIN FROM ALL THAT IS MUNDANE AND REVEL IN AND GLORIFY ALL OF THE MANY WONDERS THAT COME WITH THE
ACCEPTANCE OF THE GREAT AND GOOD GENRES!
SCIENCE FICTION! FANTASY! HORROR!
Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo! In Part Eight: Doc Freak watches as Zombzany begins to struggle with the spell of immobilization that he has placed on Wolf E. Bones. Doc Freak realizes that Wolf E. will soon be free to attack Zombzany again, so he bids both of them a quick farewell and leaves Zombzany's cemetery. Wolf E. Bones once again becomes mobile and attacks Zombzany, who stops him with his scepter. The two of them battle into the night! This is the final part of Doc Freak Meets Wolf E. Bones. This is also the final video that will be uploaded to this blog. Anyone interested in further videos featuring Zombzany, Doc Freak and others may find them at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9ONyPl-PDuq2zhDp2gvDEw?view_as=public
Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo! In Part Seven: Doc Freak has hidden from Wolf E. Bones until dusk, and he enters the cemetery of Zombzany the Necromancer. He calls for Zombzany, asking for his aid in returning Wolf E. Bones to his non-werewolf zombie form. Zombzany, the master of his domain, approaches Doc Freak and surprises him. Zombzany is aware of Doc Freak's problem and is unsympathetic to his plight. In fact, Zombzany seems extremely amused by it!
Doc Freak and all his friends and enemies are back in: Doc Freak Meets Wolf E. Bones - Part Two Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo! In Part Two: Doc enters Zombzany's cemetery to dig up a new cadaver for his zombie friend Bill E. Bones, who is currently buried in the rotting remains of a skeleton in another part of the cemetery.
Doc Freak and all his friends and enemies are back in: Doc Freak Meets Wolf E. Bones - Part One Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo! In Part One: Doc gets a telepathic communication from his zombie pal, Bill E. Bones.
In the final installment of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones --
Part Five -- which I've titled “Baron Bones Buried Undead" -- Baron Blood
E. Bones is sitting on Zombzany's throne unattended by his zombie manservant.
Apparently, all the gory films that they have been showing on the all-vampire
marathon has made Blood E. thirsty and during the film had ordered Zombzany to fetch
him a bottle of blood from one of Zombzany’s vintage vaults. While awaiting
Zombzany’s return, Baron Blood E. Bones fills in for Zombzany by telling his
viewers how Count Gore De Vol went from an out-of-work broadcast horror host,
to hosting his own weekly webcast on his very own website. Returning with the
bottle of blood, Zombzany places the bottle into the eager boney hands of the
Baron. Not wanting to wait another minute to swill down the bloody brew, Baron
Blood E. Bones orders Zombzany to introduce the next feature film, Dracula
2000. Zombzany’s less-than-flattering description of the film causes the Baron
to question Zombzany, but Zombzany assures the Baron that he is just having
some fun with the film. Baron Blood E. Bones enthusiastically orders “Doc”
Freak to start the movie.
Returning from the movie, Baron Blood E. Bones is obviously impatient
to watch the final fangtastic feature, until Zombzany reminds him that the
viewers may want to know where the video tapes of Count Gore De Vol that they
have been watching might be procured. Perhaps slightly drunk on the bottled
blood, the Baron humors his undead slave and allows Zombzany one last
monologue. Baron Blood E. Bones then goes on to describe in deathly detail the many
things that make the last film of the marathon, The Forsaken, a “bloody good
show.”
Once the film has concluded, Baron Blood E. Bones begins to realize
that both Zombzany and “Doc” Freak appear to have disappeared from the cemetery
during its run. The Baron grabs the camera off the tripod where Freak had left
it and proceeds to search the perimeter of Zombzany’s cemetery for either of
his missing manservants. Finally, Baron Blood E. Bones sees “Doc” Freak
standing next to an abandoned tool shed in some sort of hypnotic state. Distracted
by Freak, the Baron is unaware of someone who has snuck up behind him and
pushed him forcefully to the ground. Impeded by unknown forces, Baron Blood E.
Bones is unable to get out of what appears to be a shallow grave that he has
fallen in, when he sees a familiar formidable figure looming at the edges of
his increasingly foggy vision. Crying out in vain, Baron Blood E. Bones is
slowly but steadily being buried alive!
Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Five -- Baron
Bones Buried Undead!
In the forth part of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part
Four -- which I've titled "Slave Zombo Makes a Joke?" -- Baron Bones
remains on Zombzany's throne and continues to demonstrate his domination over
Zombzany by applying a swift kick to his shins. The Baron orders Zombzany to
carry on with his aural memoir of Count Gore de Vol and this time Zombzany
manages to please even the obstinate Baron. Baron Blood E. Bones announces the
next modern horror movie; encouraging his cameraman to “Roll them bones.”
Returning from the movie, Baron Blood E. Bones continues his
physical abuse of Zombzany with a poke to the former Necromancer’s considerable
paunch. Apparently, Bones is a fan of the Blade trilogy, as he announces the
next film as “a vampire classic.”
Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Four -- Slave
Zombo Makes a Joke?
In the second part of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part
Three -- which I've titled "Baron Bones Disses Zombo" – Baron Bones
is still sitting on Zombzany’s throne and seems to be relishing his domination
over Zombzany. The Baron orders Zombzany to continue his aural biography of
Count Gore de Vol, which Zombzany obediently executes, only to berated by the
Baron upon completion. Baron Blood E. Bones introduces the next modern horror
movie with much more enthusiasm than the previous film, as apparently this one
contains copious amounts of blood and violence.
Returning from the movie, Baron Blood E. Bones forces the
still comatose Zombzany to continue his Count Gore-ography and this time
Zombzany seems to improve his oration to the Baron’s satisfaction. Baron Blood
E. Bones introduces another fang-tastic flick; this one a foreign film that
apparently portrays acts of bloodletting that really gets Bones wound-up!
Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones - Part Thee -- Baron
Bones Disses Zombo!
In the second part of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part
Two -- which I've titled "Baron Bones Usurps a Throne" -- Zombzany
has apparently recovered from the sleeping drug that “Doc” Freak had one of
Zombzany’s zombie slaves “prescribe” him, and is telling his fans that this
year he will not be hosting the Fifth Annual Scare-a-thon. Suddenly, in a
blinding flash of white-hot light, a large skeletal figure appears menacingly
before Zombzany. “Doc” Freak, who is subbing for the absent zombie Myron behind
the camera, tells Zombzany that he has revived Bill E. Bones. When Zombzany
inquires why Bones is of a much greater stature, Freak informs the Dominator of
the Dead that his special rejuvenation formula contained a calcium-additive
that aided in Bones’ return to his former size. Zombzany attempts to threaten
Bones with his scepter of power, when Bones - who is now calling himself Baron
Blood E. Bones – reveals that he has stolen Zombzany’s magical amulet and is
now immune to Zombzany’s necromancy. Bones tells Zombzany that he now possess
the power of the amulet’s former owner, Count Dracula and puts Zombzany into a
magically enhanced hypnotic trance!
Once again behind the camera, “Doc” Freak convinces Baron
Blood E. Bones that he should host the Fifth Annual Scare-a-thon – particularly
because it is an all vampire movie marathon. Completely in the Baron’s thrall,
Bones orders Zombzany to give the fans a brief description of the horror host
Count Gore de Vol, whom will be part of the evening’s Scare-a-thon. Baron Blood
E. Bones then less-than-enthusiastically introduces the first vampire flick of
the marathon: 1931’s Dracula.
Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones - Part Two -- Baron
Bones Usurps a Throne!
Technical Note: There are two segments of this video where
the original video tape had a wrinkle in it, causing a crackling hiss in the
audio playback. No amount of my adjusting the tape on playback or tweaking the
audio digitally reduced this annoying aural distortion. I apologies for this in
advance and hope that it doesn't detract too much from any enjoyment that you
might derive from this portion of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones.
The last series of Zombzany videos that I’ve posted here at
Guardians of the Genre - ZOMBZANY AND THE UNDEAD DOC FREAK – took place
chronologically just a year prior to the events of this latest series in which Zombzany encounters
an adversary nearly his necromantic equal, Baron Blood E. Bones. This and the
several years before and after it are the most well-documented era in
Zombzany’s horror host period; mostly because being the somewhat vain
not-so-mad-not-so-much-scientist that I am, I stole and saved these video tapes
to preserve the encounters that I've had with the Dominator of the Dead. This
is another instance in a more-than ten year period in which Zombzany was coerced
into hosting a horror movie marathon for a local science fiction fan club and
evidently not very well rewarded financially for it.
In the first part of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones – Part
One -- which I've titled "The Revenge of ‘Doc’ Freak" -- Zombzany is lying
prone on a bench outside of his caretaker’s shack on the outskirts of his
cemetery. He is sound asleep and snoring loudly. What is unusual about this is
that it is clearly day time and normally Zombzany sleeps at this time safely
within the dark confines of his underground tomb. Shortly, ‘Doc’ Freak sneaks
up on Zombzany and gently pokes him to see if he is truly asleep. Satisfied
that Zombzany is not playing possum, ‘Doc’ Freak thanks Myron, Zombzany’s most
intelligent zombie slave, for putting the sleep serum that Freak concocted into
Zombzany’s coffee the previous evening. Freak tells Myron and Sebastian that
they might as well take a brief “holiday”, because Zombzany will be incapacitated
long enough for him to put his “master plan in motion”. Waving as the zombies
slowly shuffle off to who-knows-where, Freak then leans over Zombzany and
carefully removes the magic amulet around Zombzany’s neck. Freak is somewhat
intimidated by the amulet, as he knows that it contains some type of dark mystical
energy that was transferred to it by its previous owner, Count Dracula. ‘Doc’
Freak jumps for joy as he heads off to look for the location of the grave of
Zombzany’s most disloyal slave: Bill E. Bones.
Night has arrived and ‘Doc’ Freak, flashlight in hand, is
still looking for Bill E. Bones’ unmarked grave. Finally stumbling on it –
almost literally – Freak takes a carton of special ingredients from his lab
coat pocket. ‘Doc’ Freak then spreads the “ass-kickin’ rejuvenation formula” on
the grave of Bill E. Bones and commands the skeletal zombie to arise from his
grave. Mystical smoke clouds the cemetery and suddenly Bones’ hand thrusts itself
self out of the ground. ‘Doc’ Freak helps his zombie friend from the soil and
places a cape around his shoulders. Freak then takes Zombzany’s magical amulet
from his pocket and places it around the neck of Bones. Perhaps blind with the
excitement of ousting Zombzany from his own tomb with the scientifically (and
perhaps unintentionally magically) reanimated Bones, Freak doesn't notice the
considerable difference in weight and stature in his formerly diminutive
skeletal friend. Together, Freak and Bones head to the tomb of Zombzany and
prepare to become the dominator of their former Master!
In the eighth and final part of Zombzany and the Undead Doc
Freak -- which I've titled "Bad to the Last Drop" -- Zombzany introduces
the final film of the horror movie marathon, while waiting for his newly
silenced zombie slave Doc Freak to return with his final caffeinated beverage
of the evening. Freak bows before his master and delivers him his coffee. After
taking a long sip, Zombzany begins to choke and realizes that Freak has once
again spiked his coffee with sugar. Zombzany grabs Freak by the collar and
drags him out of his Tomb to deliver a king-size beat-down on his disobedient
zombie slave. Myron then mercifully, or mercilessly, depending on your taste in
zombie films, segues into the final film of the marathon.
When they come back from the end of the final film, Zombzany
reads a new scripted soliloquy to bring the horror movie marathon to a close.
Clearly unhappy with the script, Zombzany inquires of his zombie slaves, who
wrote the closing speech, but none dare challenge the Dominator of the Dead.
Displeased with his newly zombiefied slave, Zombzany decides the best
punishment for Doc Freak is to return to him his mortal life. Zombzany casts a powerful
remortalisation spell on Doc Freak, which causes Freak to fall head-over-heels
onto the ground. Quickly recovering, Doc Freak realizes that his is once again mortal
and runs back to his lab vowing vengeance on Zombzany. Zombzany merely smiles
and returns to the beloved sanctuary of his tomb.
Enjoy Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part Eight -- Bad
to the Last Drop.
In the seventh part of Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak --
which I've titled "The Choke is on Freak" –Zombzany is asleep on his
throne, snoring away, apparently exhausted from the many attempts at a rejuvenation
spell to heal Doc Freak of his missing arms. Freak tries to revive his master
by showing him a DVD copy of his favorite movie White Zombie, but to no avail
as Zombzany continues to snore away.
Doc Freak decides this is a perfect time to demonstrate his
horror movie hosting abilities and begins to regale his audience about the magnificent
virtues of Scream 3 and all of Wes Craven’s films. Unseen by Freak, Zombzany arises
behind Freak and begins charging his staff menacingly. Suddenly, Zombzany takes
his magically-charged power staff and places it around Doc Freak’s throat;
choking the words from his mouth. Pleased with the sound of silence, Zombzany encourages
Myron to start the next film in the horror movie marathon.
Enjoy Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part Seven -- The
Choke is on Freak.
In the sixth part of Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak --
which I've titled "Doc Freak Disarmed" -- Zombzany regales his
viewers with a story about Zacherley running for president with the slogan “Put
a Ghoul in the White House.” Despite his fear of punishment, Freak enters the
tomb and tells Zombzany that according to his source, the slogan was “Put a
Vampire in the White House.” Zombzany refutes this claim and uses a spell to
dash Freak to the ground.
Zombzany sarcastically goes into an unflattering description
of the next film in the horror movie marathon and Freak can be heard in the
background screaming for Zombzany’s attention. At the conclusion of Zombzany’s soliloquy,
Freak confronts Zombzany, showing him that his spell has now removed Doc Freak’s
other hand. When Freak explains to Zombzany that without hands, he won’t be
able to serve his master his coffee, Zombzany attempts a regenerative spell to
restore Freak’s missing appendages.
The spell goes awry and Doc Freak is now missing both of his
arms!
Enjoy Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part Six -- Doc
Freak Disarmed.
In the fifth part of Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak --
which I've titled "Dominator of the Dummies" -- Zombzany begins to
introduce the next film of the horror movie marathon, when he is interrupted by
Doc Freak. Freak is complaining that he doesn’t have sufficient bandages to
wrap his dismembered hand properly. Zombzany is extremely unsympathetic and
concludes his introduction, warning Freak not to interrupt him again.
Zombzany then proceeds to completely ignore the film being
shown and read from a book. Doc Freak is curious and swathed in bandages, limps
before Zombzany, attempting to get a look at what Zombzany is reading. After
his inquiries are rebuffed by the surly Necromancer, Fritz grabs the book and
Zombzany and Freak begin fighting over the possession of the tome. After a brief struggle, both combatants fall
to the ground - momentarily stunned!
Freak is the first to revive and uses the opportunity to retrieve
the book from Zombzany’s grasp. When Doc Freak sees what Zombzany has been
reading, he suddenly has second thoughts about asking Zombzany to use his
necromantic magic to heal his wounds.
Enjoy Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part Five –
Dominator of the Dummies.
In the fourth part of Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak --
which I've titled "Doc Freak Gets Stumped" -- Zombzany impatiently
waits for Doc Freak to return from the store with his coffee. When Freak
returns empty handed, Freak explains to Zombzany why he took so long and that
he’ll have a fresh cup brewed up in a jiffy. Freak hurries off, but inquires how
Zombzany likes his coffee to be prepared and Zombzany replies that he likes it
with “two lumps of arsenic and a finger of type-O.”
While Zombzany waits still longer for his caffeinated infusion,
he begrudgingly introduces the second feature of the horror movie marathon.
Finally Doc Freak returns with Zombzany’s coffee and he proffers the coffee by
prostrating his newly undead form before his necromancer master. Zombzany takes
one sip of the beverage and proceeds to spit it out. He then removes an entire
hand from the coffee cup and tosses it back at the now one-handed Freak.
Freak desperately attempts to reattach the extracted extremity.
He finally gives up and resorts to fleeing from the angry self-professed King
of the Zombies!
Enjoy Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part Four -- Doc
Freak Gets Stumped.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM DOC FREAK AND ALL THE GUARDIANS OF THE GENRE!
In the third part of Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part Three -- which I've titled "A Freaky Coffee Run" -- Zombzany reluctantly introduces the first film of the marathon with his new zombie slave, Doc Freak, standing by his side in rapt attention. As Zombzany describes some of the grizzly details of the modern horror film that he found particularly repellent, Doc Freak begins pantomiming some of these atrocities, but Zombzany quickly silences his servant with a vocal command.
Sensing Zombzany’s irritation, Freak volunteers to go to the local convenience store to purchase some coffee for his master. Freak is in such a hurry to leave that he forgets to ask Zombzany some money, so he returns and asks Zombzany for some “scratch.” After explaining his request in language that Zombzany can understand, Freak leaves Zombzany’s Tomb in his quest for coffee.
Enjoy Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part Three -- A Freaky Coffee Run.
In the second part of Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak --
which I've titled "Freak Fails" -- Zombzany has fallen asleep sitting on
his throne waiting for his new zombie slave, Doc Freak, to return with his
coffee. Finally returning with a large cup, Doc Freak apologizes to
Zombzany for serving him hot chocolate instead of coffee, explaining to the
King of the Zombies that his stash is depleted. Zombzany is displeased with
being served “this childish swill” and returns the hot chocolate to Doc Freak –
sans mug.
Returning to business
at hand, Zombzany reiterates that he will be showing clips of the horror host Zacherley
during the horror movie marathon and giving the audience some insightful
background into the history of this TV legend. Doc Freak once again begins
hopping up and down with unbridled excitement and Zombzany is forced to use a
minor spell of sedation on Freak to get him back under control. Zombzany then
commands Doc Freak to produce the visual aids and begins regaling his viewers with
the origin of Zacherley.
No sooner has Zombzany finished with the first part of his retrospective
of Zacherley, than Doc Freak drops all the photos and other props to the ground,
making a complete mess of Zombzany’s tomb.
Enjoy Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part Two -- Freak Fails.
In the first part of Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak --
which I've titled "Freak Seeks to be Deceased" -- Zombzany is once
again sitting on his throne. However, for some inexplicable reason, he is conscious
well before his usual dusk waking hour. Zombzany has again had to demean
himself and host another modern horror movie marathon and on top of that he has
had to start it in broad daylight, which explains his even worse than usual bad mood. Zombzany admits that the only reason he has
agreed to host this particular marathon is that he will able to talk about his
favorite “living” horror movie host, Zacherley the cool ghoul.
Running up from somewhere close, Doc Freak (I admit it. I
was eavesdropping nearby – D.F.) begins jumping up and down in front of
Zombzany, shouting “wicked cool” over and over again. Doc Freak asks if he can be
Zombzany’s new servant for this marathon, since he blew up and buried his old
servant Bill E. Bones at the conclusion of last year’s horror movie marathon.
Zombzany informs Freak that he does not retain the services of the living, as
he can resurrect his own zombie slave through necromancy. Freak says that if
Zombzany only hires the undead, then he should zap him dead so that he can
serve him during the course of the marathon.
Zombzany is more than happy to make Doc Freak his zombie slave
and puts a deadly spell of simultaneous death and resurrection on him. The new
zombie Freak’s first task as Zombzany’s slave is to fetch the King of the
Zombies a cup of coffee for the long horror movie marathon to come.
Enjoy Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part One -- Freak
Seeks to be Deceased.
I still have many more dusty old video tapes that I stole
from Zombzany’s videos archives tomb years ago and while trying to find the
tape that has my second appearance on one of Zombzany’s horror hosting gigs, I
lucked into this!
This is a very old title sequence from one of his late 50’s
or early 60’s TV horror host programs. The name of the program was Scary
Cinematary. This is the only tape with anything related to this show, so I have
no idea when or where or if it ever actually aired on TV. If this looks familiar,
it is because Zombzany reused it in one of his later horror hosting videos,
which I titled Introducing Zombzany the Necromancer - Part One.
Forgive the grainy quality, as it looks like this is a
second or even third generation dupe. Enjoy the introduction titles to Zombzany’s
Scary Cinematary!
In the seventh part of Zombzany and the Missing Maniac --
which I've titled "Major Maniac is Bespelled" -- Zombzany spews verbal
venom over showing a vampire film on his supposed zombie-only movie marathon.
Zombzany then curses the fan club who hired him to host the zombie marathon.
Zombzany calls his agent again to complain about the vampire
atrocity and it finally dawns on him that his agent is actually his former
horror-host competitor, Major Maniac. Zombzany gathers his necromantic energy
and places a spell on Maniac over the phone, turning Maniac into what sounds
like some type of an animal. Pleased with his bespelling Maniac, Zombzany ends
the horror movie marathon.
Enjoy Part Seven of Zombzany and the Missing Maniac -- Major
Maniac is Bespelled!
