Monday, January 17, 2011


Zombzany the Necromancer is my neighbor. About ten years ago I inherited this house I currently live in from a distant relative. It came with a laboratory filled with all kinds of gadgets and devises of which some of them I doubt I’ll ever figure out. When I first moved into my new laboratory around which the rest of the house is built, I didn’t notice that at the farthest edge of my property was an old overgrown cemetery. I found out several months later, during an experiment with a temperamental transformer that caused a blackout throughout the neighborhood, that within one of the tombs of the cemetery resided the self-described King of the Zombies – Zombzany the Necromancer; or Necromaniac, as he sometimes misguidedly refers to his vocation. It seems Zombzany’s tomb was illegally tapped into the grid to provide power for his minor comforts, which included an old black and white television set on which he watched his favorite classic horror films. I was spared Zombzany’s wrath that evening by installing a new circuit breaker panel in his tomb, so that his flow of illicit power wouldn’t be interrupted by any future experiments of mine. From then until fairly recently, Zombzany and I exchanged pleasantries and occasional video tapes of his favorite horror films.

One of many reasons that my undead neighbor – did I mention that Zombzany is a zombie himself? – are currently at odds is that I came into possession dozens of old video tapes of Zombzany's past television appearances. Apparently, Zombzany fancies himself to be a bit of a thespian and has worked for several different local TV stations and cable networks over the years. Zombzany has made appearances as himself, hosting his favorite horror films like White Zombie, but has even stooped to hosting scf-fi films as well. Even more unbelievably, Zombzany has worked under a plethora of aliases, evidently in a vain hope of cashing in on whatever the latest craze in television is. Since most of Zombzany’s “work” has been lost to the annals of time, I felt it was my duty to as an aficionado of popular culture to post some of Zombzany’s televised masterpieces on our blog for the entire Internet community. Okay! I’ll admit it. I just want to piss the old bloated windbag off! Of course, Zombzany has to be hooked up to the World Wide Web to find out and as far as I know he doesn’t even own a computer, let alone have an Internet connection.

Here is the first appearance, as far I can piece together, of Zombzany hosting a horror film marathon on some long forgotten UHF station. This is also the first appearance of Zombzany’s boney sidekick, Bill E. Bones. I’ve broken up this program into several smaller parts, so please enjoy part one of the Introduction of Zombzany the Necromancer!

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