WE, THE GUARDIANS OF THE GENRE, DO VOW TO ABSTAIN FROM ALL THAT IS MUNDANE AND REVEL IN AND GLORIFY ALL OF THE MANY WONDERS THAT COME WITH THE
ACCEPTANCE OF THE GREAT AND GOOD GENRES!
SCIENCE FICTION! FANTASY! HORROR!
In the final installment of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones --
Part Five -- which I've titled “Baron Bones Buried Undead" -- Baron Blood
E. Bones is sitting on Zombzany's throne unattended by his zombie manservant.
Apparently, all the gory films that they have been showing on the all-vampire
marathon has made Blood E. thirsty and during the film had ordered Zombzany to fetch
him a bottle of blood from one of Zombzany’s vintage vaults. While awaiting
Zombzany’s return, Baron Blood E. Bones fills in for Zombzany by telling his
viewers how Count Gore De Vol went from an out-of-work broadcast horror host,
to hosting his own weekly webcast on his very own website. Returning with the
bottle of blood, Zombzany places the bottle into the eager boney hands of the
Baron. Not wanting to wait another minute to swill down the bloody brew, Baron
Blood E. Bones orders Zombzany to introduce the next feature film, Dracula
2000. Zombzany’s less-than-flattering description of the film causes the Baron
to question Zombzany, but Zombzany assures the Baron that he is just having
some fun with the film. Baron Blood E. Bones enthusiastically orders “Doc”
Freak to start the movie.
Returning from the movie, Baron Blood E. Bones is obviously impatient
to watch the final fangtastic feature, until Zombzany reminds him that the
viewers may want to know where the video tapes of Count Gore De Vol that they
have been watching might be procured. Perhaps slightly drunk on the bottled
blood, the Baron humors his undead slave and allows Zombzany one last
monologue. Baron Blood E. Bones then goes on to describe in deathly detail the many
things that make the last film of the marathon, The Forsaken, a “bloody good
show.”
Once the film has concluded, Baron Blood E. Bones begins to realize
that both Zombzany and “Doc” Freak appear to have disappeared from the cemetery
during its run. The Baron grabs the camera off the tripod where Freak had left
it and proceeds to search the perimeter of Zombzany’s cemetery for either of
his missing manservants. Finally, Baron Blood E. Bones sees “Doc” Freak
standing next to an abandoned tool shed in some sort of hypnotic state. Distracted
by Freak, the Baron is unaware of someone who has snuck up behind him and
pushed him forcefully to the ground. Impeded by unknown forces, Baron Blood E.
Bones is unable to get out of what appears to be a shallow grave that he has
fallen in, when he sees a familiar formidable figure looming at the edges of
his increasingly foggy vision. Crying out in vain, Baron Blood E. Bones is
slowly but steadily being buried alive!
Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Five -- Baron
Bones Buried Undead!
Doctor Who fans like me will be watching the first new
episode of Doctor Who tonight, on BBC America at 8pm EST, since last year’s
Christmas Special. This is technically the 6th episode of season 7,
but it is the first episode of The Doctor with his new companion, Clara, so it almost
feels like a new season.
The episode is entitled The Bells of Saint John. It is described
as: The Doctor’s search for Clara Oswald brings him to modern day London, where
Wi-Fi is everywhere. Humanity lives in a Wi-Fi soup, but something dangerous is
lurking in the signals, picking off minds and imprisoning them. As Clara
becomes the target of this insidious menace, the Doctor races to save her and
the world from an ancient enemy.
Watch the BBC America-Exclusive Trailer for the All New
Episodes of DOCTOR WHO *** Premiering SATURDAY MARCH 30 at 8/7c *** Presented
by Supernatural Saturday, only on BBC America.
Immediately followed by the World Premiere of New BBC
AMERICA Original Series ORPHAN BLACK at 9/8c and the new season of BBC AMERICA
Original Series THE NERDIST at 10/9c.
Through all of time and space, the unknown is everywhere.
But sometimes, the universe's greatest mystery is the person right next to
you...
"I look at you every single day and I don't understand
a thing about you."
"You're the Impossible Girl, the only mystery worth
solving..."
In these episodes, The Doctor (MATT SMITH) is joined by his
new companion Clara (JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN) for the latest set of incredible
adventures through space and time. The duo finds new adversaries and familiar
friends around every corner as they journey from the bottom of the ocean in a
submarine to the center of the TARDIS and beyond. The Cybermen make a
thunderous return and the Ice Warrior arrives in an unexpected place.
In the premiere, a modern-day urban thriller called
"The Bells of Saint John" written by lead writer and executive
producer Steven Moffat (Sherlock) and set in London against the backdrop of new
& old iconic landmarks, a new nemesis - the Spoonheads - battle the Doctor
as he discovers something sinister is lurking in the Wi-Fi.
In the forth part of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part
Four -- which I've titled "Slave Zombo Makes a Joke?" -- Baron Bones
remains on Zombzany's throne and continues to demonstrate his domination over
Zombzany by applying a swift kick to his shins. The Baron orders Zombzany to
carry on with his aural memoir of Count Gore de Vol and this time Zombzany
manages to please even the obstinate Baron. Baron Blood E. Bones announces the
next modern horror movie; encouraging his cameraman to “Roll them bones.”
Returning from the movie, Baron Blood E. Bones continues his
physical abuse of Zombzany with a poke to the former Necromancer’s considerable
paunch. Apparently, Bones is a fan of the Blade trilogy, as he announces the
next film as “a vampire classic.”
Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Four -- Slave
Zombo Makes a Joke?
In the second part of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part
Three -- which I've titled "Baron Bones Disses Zombo" – Baron Bones
is still sitting on Zombzany’s throne and seems to be relishing his domination
over Zombzany. The Baron orders Zombzany to continue his aural biography of
Count Gore de Vol, which Zombzany obediently executes, only to berated by the
Baron upon completion. Baron Blood E. Bones introduces the next modern horror
movie with much more enthusiasm than the previous film, as apparently this one
contains copious amounts of blood and violence.
Returning from the movie, Baron Blood E. Bones forces the
still comatose Zombzany to continue his Count Gore-ography and this time
Zombzany seems to improve his oration to the Baron’s satisfaction. Baron Blood
E. Bones introduces another fang-tastic flick; this one a foreign film that
apparently portrays acts of bloodletting that really gets Bones wound-up!
Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones - Part Thee -- Baron
Bones Disses Zombo!
Long-time readers of this blog know that my first and
forever favorite horror host was and is The Ghoul, who aired here in the Boston
area briefly in 1973. I thought horror hosts had disappeared from the airwaves forever,
but sometime in 1982 local channel 56 – oddly, the station that had aired The
Ghoul – ran then Son of Svengoolie on Saturday afternoons. I watched these
every Saturday until the show was pulled from syndication. While Sven was
different from The Ghoul, he still had many of the elements of horror hosting
that I then – and still do – love! Unfortunately, much like The Ghoul’s brief run,
Son of Svengoolie’s was also terminated all too quickly. The things I remembered
most fondly about then Son of Svengoolie were: his bad puns, the rubber chicken
throwing (usually at him and caused by his bad puns), song parodies based on
the movie’s shown, his constant put-downs of Berwyn (a suburb of Chicago which Sven
harassed much like The Ghoul made fun of Parma) and his then sidekick Tombstone
(a talking skull that floated in mid-air and talked with a vaguely Bronx-sounding
accent). Fortunately for me, Svengoolie (no longer Son of) is airing each
Saturday night on MeTV at 10 pm and he still does almost all the same types of
gags and skits that I loved from his show over thirty years earlier!
Here is Svengoolie’s Wikipedia entry and as far as I can
tell, the information appears to be accurate:
Svengoolie debuted on Screaming Yellow Theater, which aired
on WFLD (Channel 32) from September 18, 1970 until late-summer 1973. Svengoolie
was played in this series by Jerry G. Bishop. In later seasons, Rich Koz—a fan
of the show who used to send in sketch ideas—became one of the show's writers.
On June 16, 1979, Son of Svengoolie debuted on WFLD, with
Koz in the title role. The show also aired briefly on other sister (i.e., Field
Communications-controlled) stations in Philadelphia, Boston, San Francisco, and
Detroit. This series ran until WFLD (at that time owned by Metromedia) was sold
to Rupert Murdoch's Fox Television Stations Group in 1986 to become a part of
the newly-created Fox network. The new management canceled the show after
deciding it was not an appropriate fit for their new programming direction.
After 334 shows, the final episode aired January 25, 1986. Koz later returned
to WFLD in various capacities, mainly as the host of its Fox Kids Club and The
Koz Zone weekday afternoon children's programming, even appearing as an
announcer on the Fox network's 1988 New Year's Eve broadcast.
The series returned to the air on December 31, 1994 on WCIU
(Channel 26), using just "Svengoolie" as its name; Koz took over the
role of Svengoolie when Bishop told Koz that he "believed he was grown up
enough now to no longer be just the Son." The show opens with a reference
to early radio broadcasting: "Calling all stations, clear the air lanes,
clear all air lanes for the big broadcast." Koz also hosts a weekly Three
Stooges Stooge-a-palooza show on WCIU.
A running gag throughout the series is the repeated
utterance of the word "Berwyn", the name of a Chicago suburb. (This
was a parody of the way "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In" and Johnny
Carson would jokingly refer to "Beautiful Downtown Burbank.") Another
recurring gag involves rubber chickens being thrown at Svengoolie after a
cornier-than-usual joke—usually at the end of each episode's closing sketch.
Koz and the show have won numerous regional Emmy awards, and Koz was admitted
to the Emmy "Silver Circle" in 2004 for "outstanding
contributions to Chicago television."
The series also airs on Chicago's WWME-CA
("ME-TV"), Milwaukee stations WBME-CD and WMLW-TV, and occasionally
on WMYS-LP in South Bend, Indiana. All of these stations are owned by Weigel
Broadcasting. Beginning on April 2, 2011, Svengoolie's show also became
available nationally on the Weigel-owned Me-TV network.
Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Very much so over the years, with
regards to Sven being Transylvianian, and how. It's pretty much gone straight
into Not Even Bothering with the Accent, he'll start a segment with it or
annunciation a word in it here or there but that's all.
Parody Commercial: Too many examples to count—Svengoolie's
Jr. Grave Robber Kit, Vampire Carpets, Death perfume...
Passing the Torch: In the first episode of Son of
Svengoolie, when the Son pop's out of Bishop's coffin on the old Screaming
Yellow Theater set while Bishop, out of character, provides Opening Narration.
Bishop: Good evening. I'm Jerry G. Bishop, and this is the
famed split-level dungeon studio where many years ago, the legendary
Svengoola—Svengoolie first entered television prominence many years ago....What
if there was the same situation as in the past with Son of Frankenstein, Son of
Dracula, Sanford and Son? Could their exist—somewhere, somehow—a Son of
Svengoolie?
Son of Svengoolie: Hey, dad, can I borrow the key to the
Hearst tonight?
Named for Svengali from Trilby (and the subsequent reuse of
the name as "a person who with evil intent manipulates another into doing
what is desired") along with Ghoul, a common horror trope in its own
right.
BER-WYN? is uttered whenever a city name, or a word that
sounds similar is mentioned. Berwyn is a suburb of Chicago where they have an
annual mushroom parade. Used as a gag similar to Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In's
"beautiful downtown Burbank."
Song Parody: Once an Episode, usually changing the lyrics to
reference that night's movie.
Tombstone's is superimposed onto the screen much more
gracefully today than he was in the old days, appearing much more solid and his
mouth lip-sinks almost fluidly.
Many characters are voiced by Koz, and dubbed in. Zallman T.
Tombstone (a floating skull), Kerwyn (a rubber chicken who helps Sven with the
Mailbag segment), and Durwood (a ventriloquist's dummy) are the three most
often seen Non Human Sidekicks. Also "appearing" Once an Episode is
"the guy behind the door," who interrupts Sven as he's saying his
goodnights at the end of the show to tell him a bad joke. The hand is played by
various people - mostly staffers at the station - but the voiceover is Koz.
Back in the Son of Svengoolie days you couldn't get through
a month without at least one cheap shot at Alan Thicke.
Three Dimensional Episode: when SoS broadcast Revenge of the
Creature in 1983. The effect didn't work well.
Vocal Range Exceeded: Regularly used when musical director
Doug Graves arranges songs for Sven to sing, just a bit higher than Sven can
sing.
The Artifact: Durwood the puppet looks just like Bishop's
Svengoolie. When Koz took over with a different make-up design, Durwood
retained his resemblance to the original and continues to today.
Audience Participation: Faked with using audio clips from
various programs, most commonly Warner Brothers cartoons.
Award Show: Parodied in 1983 with The Worst of Svengoolie,
which highlighted the worst elements of the various films that had been shown
over the years.
When Doug speaks up, it's generally to get a joke in at
Sven's expense.
Everything's Better with Chickens: Rubber chickens make
frequent appearances on the show, especially at the end, when they're launched
at Svengoolie.
Fan Nickname: Sven, short for Svengoolie. "Goolie"
isn't his last name.
Hey, It's That Guy!: Svengoolie devotes one host segment a
week to pointing out the actors' other roles.
Incredibly Lame Pun: Most of the jokes on the program.
Keep Circulating the Tapes: Unlike some horror hosts Sven
doesn't rely strictly on Public Domain films, which makes for a wider variety
of shows available but also makes officially releasing them to home video
virtually impossible. Sven is OK with people trading copies of his old shows,
but do not sell them.
The current Svengoolie started as the Son
of Svengoolie; the original Svengoolie (played by Jerry G. Bishop) aired from
1970-1973 on Screaming Yellow Theater. Son of Svengoolie ran 1979-1986. When
SoS returned to regular broadcasting in 1995 he received the blessing of the
original to just be called "Svengoolie."
Koz's first show ran 1979-1986; his current show started in
1995. That's 27 years on the air, and 42 years overall.
I have been watching Svengoolie on MeTV every Saturday night
since I discovered it on my local cable channel 292. To give you an idea of how
much I love Svengoolie, this is the only program I watch regularly in standard definition!
Since I bought my HD TV several years ago, I stopped watching the non-HD channels,
because they look fuzzy compared to the stunning clarity of the HD channels. I
have already watched some classic – and not so classic – movies on Svengoolie’s
program like: House of Frankenstein 1944, Tarantula 1955, Ssssss 1973, Abbot
and Costello Go to Mars 1953, Duck Soup 1933, Revenge of the Creature 1955, Island
of Lost Souls 1932, Cult of the Cobra 1955, The Black Cat 1933 and The Wolf Man
1941! I have learned that Rich Koz suffered a heart attack November 3, 2012 and
while he is recovering has been running repeats of past shows on METV.
Here is the news report at the time of the incident:
Rich Koz, the Chicago television icon known to generations
of fans as the wise-cracking horror-movie host Svengoolie, is recovering from a
heart attack. Koz, 60, was stricken at his west suburban home Saturday night
and was admitted to a Chicago hospital, where he was being treated Monday. On
his Svengoolie Twitter and Facebook accounts Sunday, the following message was
posted: “After a very busy Halloween holiday season, I’ll be taking a short
reprieve from updating my blog. Daily updates will return soon!” Koz, who has a
history of heart problems, suffered a heart attack in March 2002. He returned
to work two months later after undergoing two angioplasty procedures. “Maybe
it’s a good thing that rubber chickens are cholesterol-free,” he quipped at the
time.
Judging by this report and Ron’s history, he’ll be returning
to the airwaves soon!
Anyone who is interested in finding our more about
Svengoolie, should go to his current web site: http://svengoolie.com
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