DOC FREAK MEETS WOLF E. BONES - PART FOUR

Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!

In Part Four: Doc Freak witnesses the transference of his zombie pal Bill E. Bones' essence into his new dead body. Freak is alarmed to discover that the new body was a werewolf his former life. Now Bones demands to be known as: Wolf E. Bones!

DOC FREAK MEETS WOLF E. BONES - PART THREE

Doc Freak and all his friends and enemies are
back in: Doc Freak Meets Wolf E. Bones - Part Three.

Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!
In Part Three: Doc Freak digs up the remains of Bill E. Bones' skeleton and carries them to the new corpse that he dug up previously.

DOC FREAK MEETS WOLF E. BONES - PART TWO

Doc Freak and all his friends and enemies are
back in: Doc Freak Meets Wolf E. Bones - Part Two

Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!

In Part Two: Doc enters Zombzany's cemetery to dig up a new cadaver for his zombie friend Bill E. Bones, who is currently buried in the rotting remains of a skeleton in another part of the cemetery.

DOC FREAK MEETS WOLF E. BONES - PART ONE

Doc Freak and all his friends and enemies are
back in: Doc Freak Meets Wolf E. Bones - Part One

Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!

In Part One: Doc gets a telepathic communication from his zombie pal, Bill E. Bones.

ZOMBZANY MEETS BLOOD E. BONES - PART TWO -- BARON BONES USURPS A THRONE!

In the second part of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Two -- which I've titled "Baron Bones Usurps a Throne" -- Zombzany has apparently recovered from the sleeping drug that “Doc” Freak had one of Zombzany’s zombie slaves “prescribe” him, and is telling his fans that this year he will not be hosting the Fifth Annual Scare-a-thon. Suddenly, in a blinding flash of white-hot light, a large skeletal figure appears menacingly before Zombzany. “Doc” Freak, who is subbing for the absent zombie Myron behind the camera, tells Zombzany that he has revived Bill E. Bones. When Zombzany inquires why Bones is of a much greater stature, Freak informs the Dominator of the Dead that his special rejuvenation formula contained a calcium-additive that aided in Bones’ return to his former size. Zombzany attempts to threaten Bones with his scepter of power, when Bones - who is now calling himself Baron Blood E. Bones – reveals that he has stolen Zombzany’s magical amulet and is now immune to Zombzany’s necromancy. Bones tells Zombzany that he now possess the power of the amulet’s former owner, Count Dracula and puts Zombzany into a magically enhanced hypnotic trance!

Once again behind the camera, “Doc” Freak convinces Baron Blood E. Bones that he should host the Fifth Annual Scare-a-thon – particularly because it is an all vampire movie marathon. Completely in the Baron’s thrall, Bones orders Zombzany to give the fans a brief description of the horror host Count Gore de Vol, whom will be part of the evening’s Scare-a-thon. Baron Blood E. Bones then less-than-enthusiastically introduces the first vampire flick of the marathon: 1931’s Dracula.

Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones - Part Two -- Baron Bones Usurps a Throne!

Technical Note: There are two segments of this video where the original video tape had a wrinkle in it, causing a crackling hiss in the audio playback. No amount of my adjusting the tape on playback or tweaking the audio digitally reduced this annoying aural distortion. I apologies for this in advance and hope that it doesn't detract too much from any enjoyment that you might derive from this portion of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones.

ZOMBZANY MEETS BLOOD E. BONES - PART ONE – THE REVENGE OF ‘DOC’ FREAK.

The last series of Zombzany videos that I’ve posted here at Guardians of the Genre - ZOMBZANY AND THE UNDEAD DOC FREAK – took place chronologically just a year prior to the events of this latest series in which  Zombzany encounters an adversary nearly his necromantic equal, Baron Blood E. Bones. This and the several years before and after it are the most well-documented era in Zombzany’s horror host period; mostly because being the somewhat vain not-so-mad-not-so-much-scientist that I am, I stole and saved these video tapes to preserve the encounters that I've had with the Dominator of the Dead. This is another instance in a more-than ten year period in which Zombzany was coerced into hosting a horror movie marathon for a local science fiction fan club and evidently not very well rewarded financially for it.

In the first part of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones – Part One -- which I've titled "The Revenge of ‘Doc’ Freak" -- Zombzany is lying prone on a bench outside of his caretaker’s shack on the outskirts of his cemetery. He is sound asleep and snoring loudly. What is unusual about this is that it is clearly day time and normally Zombzany sleeps at this time safely within the dark confines of his underground tomb. Shortly, ‘Doc’ Freak sneaks up on Zombzany and gently pokes him to see if he is truly asleep. Satisfied that Zombzany is not playing possum, ‘Doc’ Freak thanks Myron, Zombzany’s most intelligent zombie slave, for putting the sleep serum that Freak concocted into Zombzany’s coffee the previous evening. Freak tells Myron and Sebastian that they might as well take a brief “holiday”, because Zombzany will be incapacitated long enough for him to put his “master plan in motion”. Waving as the zombies slowly shuffle off to who-knows-where, Freak then leans over Zombzany and carefully removes the magic amulet around Zombzany’s neck. Freak is somewhat intimidated by the amulet, as he knows that it contains some type of dark mystical energy that was transferred to it by its previous owner, Count Dracula. ‘Doc’ Freak jumps for joy as he heads off to look for the location of the grave of Zombzany’s most disloyal slave: Bill E. Bones.

Night has arrived and ‘Doc’ Freak, flashlight in hand, is still looking for Bill E. Bones’ unmarked grave. Finally stumbling on it – almost literally – Freak takes a carton of special ingredients from his lab coat pocket. ‘Doc’ Freak then spreads the “ass-kickin’ rejuvenation formula” on the grave of Bill E. Bones and commands the skeletal zombie to arise from his grave. Mystical smoke clouds the cemetery and suddenly Bones’ hand thrusts itself self out of the ground. ‘Doc’ Freak helps his zombie friend from the soil and places a cape around his shoulders. Freak then takes Zombzany’s magical amulet from his pocket and places it around the neck of Bones. Perhaps blind with the excitement of ousting Zombzany from his own tomb with the scientifically (and perhaps unintentionally magically) reanimated Bones, Freak doesn't notice the considerable difference in weight and stature in his formerly diminutive skeletal friend. Together, Freak and Bones head to the tomb of Zombzany and prepare to become the dominator of their former Master!

ZOMBZANY AND THE MISSING MANIAC: PART FIVE -- MISSION IMPROBA-BILL!

In the fifth part of Zombzany and the Missing Maniac -- which I've titled "Mission Improba-bill" -- Zombzany gives a brief introduction to yet another zombie movie in the marathon, apologizing for the lack of the quality of the films thus far.

Zombzany, apparently still in a sharing mood, shows another rare video tape from his Archives Vault. This video is a comedy sketch from one of his previous hosting gigs entitled “Mission Improba-bill”. In this sketch, Bill E. Bones plots to eliminate Zombzany so that he and his fellow zombie slaves will be free once and for all from Zombzany’s tyranny. The sketch is an obvious parody of the TV show Mission Impossible, but unlike that program, Bill’s mission is anything but a success.

After the sketch, Zombzany introduces another zombie film. Unlike the others, this one he gives reverent treatment to, as it is Zombzany’s favorite film of all time: White Zombie!

Enjoy Part Five of Zombzany and the Missing Maniac -- Mission Improba-bill!

ZOMBZANY AND THE MISSING MANIAC: PART FOUR -- ZOMBZESTY THE CHILLIN’ CHEF’S ROADKILL CAFÉ!

In the fourth part of Zombzany and the Missing Maniac -- which I've titled "Zombzesty the Chillin’ Chef’s Roadkill Café” -- Zombzany gives a brief introduction to the next zombie movie in the marathon and somehow manages to insult his zombie slaves Bill E. Bones and Sebastian as well.

Yet again, Zombzany shares another rare video tape from his Archives Vault. This video is another of his cable TV programs that featuring a character he called Zombzesty the Chillin’ Chef on a program entitled Zombzesty the Chillin’ Chef’s Roadkill Café. The Zombzesty character was apparently supposed to be a Cajun cook, as Zombzany uses a ridiculous French accent throughout the show. In this episode, Zombzesty is concocting a dish he called Bones a la Bisque, which is a type of soup that apparently requires nearly a half-gallon of brandy. Zombzesty intersperse many gags into the show, including having the crew of the show throw bon-bons at him. The show concludes with Zombzesy having to make a hasty retreat to avoid a confrontation with the “gendarmes.”

Enjoy Part Four of Zombzany and the Missing Maniac -- Zombzesty the Chillin’ Chef’s Roadkill Café!

ZOMBZANY MEETS DOC FREAK - PART FIVE – FIT TO BE TIED AND ALL WRAPPED UP

In the fifth part of Zombzany Meets Doc Freak titled "Fit to be Tied and All Wrapped Up ", Zombzany is slumped in his throne in a coma-like state after drinking coffee that was spiked by “Doc” Freak with some type of poison. Freak is standing with Bill E. Bones before the insentient Necromancer and excitedly describing the next film in the horror movie marathon. Bones interrupts Freak and in a fit of megalomania, “Doc” Freak ties Bones up and lays him at the feet of his master. Freak continues to prattle on about the next film, not realizing that Myron the zombie cameraman has wisely gone to black.

We come back from the film and see that Freak has wrapped Bill E. Bones in toilet paper to demonstrate the ancient Egyptian art of mummification. While Freak once again jabbers on about the next mummy film, Bill attempts to tell Freak something important. Finally getting through to the power-mad Freak, Bill tells Freak that if Zombzany succumbs to true death from the poison, all the zombies that the Necromancer Supreme has created will once again become inanimate corpses. Realizing that he must find a way to resuscitate Zombzany, Freak reluctantly agrees to bring Zombzany out of his coma, but that he will need time to devise a plan. Freak asks Myron to go to black and then he and Bill go to work on how to bring Zombzany back to the Undead!

Enjoy, Zombzany Meets Doc Freak - Part Five – Fit to be Tied and All Wrapped Up.

ZOMBZANY MEETS DOC FREAK - PART FOUR - HOWLING HIBERNATION

In the fourth part of Zombzany Meets Doc Freak titled "Howling Hibernation", Zombzany is standing beside "Doc" Freak, when he hears the howling of what he assumes is a werewolf attempting to invade his cemetery. Zombzany leaves to investigate and Doc Freak suddenly becomes animate once again. Taking a bottle of some type of poison out of his lab coat pocket, Freak gleefully begins pouring the majority of its contents into Zombzany’s large coffee mug. Freak then immediately leaves Zombzany’s throne tomb before the Necromancer returns.

Zombzany at last finds the source of the “howling” and it is none other than his skeletal zombie servant, Bill E. Bones! Bones is cowering behind a tree, hoping to avoid the punishing wrath of his vengeful master! Zombzany sees the cringing Bones and unleashes a spectacular spell of detonation upon Bill.

Zombzany returns to his crypt, to find that Freak has left the premises. Assuming that his spell of immobilization has worn off, Zombzany is glad that Freak has fled so that he can resume his eloquent and informative discourse on the next horror film in the movie marathon, Ghost of Frankenstein. Evidently Freak was lurking nearby, because once again he rushes onto the “set” and regales Zombzany on the virtues of Ghost of Frankenstein. Zombzany is becoming more bored than irritated by Freak’s ravings and takes a protracted swallow of his contaminated coffee. Almost immediately, Zombzany falls into a deep coma-like state. Doc Freak turns around to see that his scheme to decimate the Dominator of the Dead has succeeded and jumps for joy at the prospect of taking over the hosting of the classic horror movie marathon.

Enjoy, Zombzany Meets Doc Freak - Part Four - Howling Hibernation!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY GHOUL YEAR!

MERRY CHRISTMAS GANG!

From all the GUARDIANS OF THE GENRE!

Fritz "Doc" Freakenstein: I hope everyone has a wicked cool Christmas! I know this year all the good boys and ghouls will get the sci-fi, fantasy and horror DVDs and Blu-rays that they asked for. Comic books make cool stocking stuffers and graphic novels and sc-fi and fantasy books make good gifts too. Merry Christmas everyone!

Bill E. Bones: At this time of year, I even miss that misoneistic malpracticer of the necromantic arts, Zombzany the Necromancer. What I don’t miss, is our annual Christmas tradition of watching White Zombie, which was Zombzany’s idea of a Christmas classic! Merry Christmas my boney friends!

Major Mac Maniac: Howdy, Kids! I’m spaced ta be whishin’ y’all a Merry Christmas and a Hippy New Year! Here’s ta hopin’ that there’ll be more spaced out sci-fi flicks ta see at the theater and on the boob tube. Until then, I’ll be blastin’ off!

Nope! That little rug rat ain't me, but it could be a young Phileas!

ZOMBZANY AND MAJOR MANIAC'S SCI-FI MARATHON - PART TEN

In Part Ten, the final episode of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon, Major Maniac is sitting on Zombzany’s throne, slurping down the last of his coffee and entertaining Bill E. Bones, who is sitting by his side. Zombzany stands impatiently to the side, holding his necromancer’s magically charged staff menacingly and inquires of the Major that now that the Sci-Fi Marathon is concluded would he be “blasting off” the premises soon?

 

 Major Maniac reluctantly concurs that he will indeed be leaving Zombzany’s tomb now because he is starting to feel “like a gopher whose exits are all cut off.” Major Maniac reminds Zombzany to “cut loose” once and a while and then leaves exclaiming his famous sign-off.

As soon as Major Maniac has withdrawn from his tomb, Zombzany returns to his rightful position on it.  Zombzany inquires of his zombie slaves why they did not come to their Master’s aid when he was being attacked by Maniac’s “demon”. When he receives an unsatisfactory reply, Zombzany tosses Bill E. Bones back into his dungeon cell and warns his other zombie slaves that he will receive an adequate answer even if he must wait all night. With a flash of his powerful staff, Zombzany bids his viewers a “frightful farewell.”

Enjoy Part Ten of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon!

ZOMBZANY AND MAJOR MANIAC'S SCI-FI MARATHON - PART EIGHT

In Part Eight of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon, Zombzany is stalking through his graveyard, using the light of his necromancy-charged staff to find his way through the smoke enshrouded night. Zombzany has sent his slow and dimwitted zombie servant Sebastian ahead to the underdeveloped region of Zombzany’s cemetery to investigate the cause of the crash, but as usual the zombie appears to have gotten lost. Zombzany is forced to explore the area himself, when he is taken by surprise and attacked by an unknown creature. Zombzany seems to be held captive by the creature, so he calls for help from all his zombie slaves.

In the meantime, Bill E. Bones has returned to the safety of Zombzany’s tomb and has actually taken a seat on Zombzany’s “throne”. Bill hears Zombzany’s summons for assistance, but still upset at being bashed and banished by his Master, he chooses to ignore it. Instead, Bill E. Bones introduces the next sci-fi film of the Sci-Fi Marathon.

Enjoy Part Eight of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon!

ZOMBZANY AND MAJOR MANIAC'S SCI-FI MARATHON - PART SEVEN

In Part Seven of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon, Zombzany exclaims that the end of the previous film has brought on the night. Bill E. Bones is a little too excited and breaks out into song, which Zombzany brings to an abrupt end with a well-placed blow to Bone‘s thick skull. Zombzany tries to recall something about the next sci-fi film of the marathon, when Bones disturbs him several times with an emergency. Zombzany declares that his zombie servant has interrupted him for the last time and hurls Bones into the ether with some type of spell.

Almost immediately thereafter, a loud crash can be heard in the distance and Zombzany is suddenly pelted with debris and smoke from the unknown craft or object. Undaunted, Zombzany orders Myron the zombie cameraman to start projecting the next film, while he exits his tomb to confront whatever or whoever has dared crash land in his cemetery!

Enjoy Part Seven of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon!

ZOMBZANY AND MAJOR MANIAC'S SCI-FI MARATHON - PART SIX

In Part Six of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon, Zombzany attempts to find some information on Arnold Schwarzenegger’s horrific acting from the evening’s previous film in his Encyclopedia of Horror, but is unsuccessful. Zombzany’s lack of knowledge on the science fiction film genre is making hosting the Sci-Fi Marathon nearly impossible. Zombzany continues to harass his zombie servant Bill E. Bones as to the location of his Science Fiction Film Encyclopedia and Bill (who hid the book in Part Five) claims he has Sebastian looking for it in every grave. With much distain, Zombzany introduces the next Sci-Fi film of the marathon.

Enjoy Part Six of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon!

ZOMBZANY AND MAJOR MANIAC'S SCI-FI MARATHON – PART FIVE

In Part Five of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon, Zombzany receives another call from Major Maniac. Maniac complains to Zombzany that he is not using “that there nitro orbital zippy script” that he faxed him. Zombzany informs the Major that he will not be using the script that is full of “imbecilic idioms”! Zombzany hangs up the phone and is about to continue the SF Marathon by reading another entry from his Science Fiction Encyclopedia, when he notices that it is missing.

Enjoy Part Five of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon!

ZOMBZANY AND MAJOR MANIAC'S SCI-FI MARATHON - PART 3

Part Three of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon begins with Bill E. Bones sitting in Zombzany's chair, reading from Major Maniac's script that comments on the previous film. Zombzany returns to the set, promptly tears up the script and has his zombie manservant Sebastian escort Bones to the dungeon.

Zombzany decides to host the "Sci-Fi Moron-a-thon" in his own unique style and proceeds to read dryly from his science fiction film tome about the next film. Myron, Zombzany's zombie slave and cameraman, begins falling asleep behind the camera, which causes it to go in and out of focus. Evidently, Sebastian forgot to lock the dungeon cell doors, because Bill E. Bones can clearly be heard behind the camera trying to wake Myron up and keep the camera in focus. The segment ends with Zombzany clearly frustrated at his attempt to enlighten his zombies and pleads with them to "go to black".

Enjoy Part Three of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon!

ZOMBZANY AND MAJOR MANIAC'S SCI-FI MARATHON - PART 2

In Part Two of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon Zombzany is awaiting the arrival of Major Maniac’s script to introduce the sci-fi movies. It is being received via FAX, which obviously Zombzany knows nothing about, as he is unable to even pronounce the word. The script is handed to him by his faithful zombie servant Sebastian and as Zombzany reads it he realizes that the script is still in Major Maniac’s somewhat eccentric dialect. Zombzany stomps out in a huff and leaves Bill E. Bones to introduce the first film of the sci-fi marathon.

Enjoy Part Two of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon!

ZOMBZANY AND MAJOR MANIAC’S SCI-FI MARATHON - PART 1

This video of Zombzany and Major Mac Maniac is from sometime in the late 1980's. Zombzany and Major Mac Maniac's relationship goes back to the 1970's when both of them were late-night movie hosts at different UHF TV stations. Zombzany, of course, ran old 1930's and 1940's horror movies on KARP-TV and Major Mac Maniac ran "classic" sci-fi movies from the 1950's and 1960's on WARP-TV. Despite the differences in their shows and the distance of their respective broadcasting partners, somehow Zombzany and Maniac developed a rivalry with one another. At the end of the 1970's, both of them found themselves out of work, as most UHF TV stations at that time cut back on their local programming in favor of syndicated shows.

Apparently, sometime in the 1980's, both of these former TV movie hosts began supplementing their meager broadcast TV income by hosting prerecorded sci-fi and horror movie marathons for various fan groups. In this video, Zombzany is sitting in an obviously mock tomb set, reading his favorite classic horror film book; while Bill E. Bones sits beside him reading a zombie comic book. The phone rings and it is Major Maniac calling from his "space station" to ask Zombzany for a favor. When Zombzany finds out that this favor is to host a sixteen hour sci-fi movie marathon in the Major's stead, he initially refuses. However, Major Manic calls in a "marker" and Zombzany reluctantly agrees to the hosting appearance, after haggling with Maniac over his cut of the payment for the gig.

Enjoy Part One of Zombzany and Major Maniac's Sci-Fi Marathon!

INTRODUCING ZOMBZANY THE NECROMANCER - PART ELEVEN

In part eleven of Introducing Zombzany the Necromancer, Zombzany concludes his Hammer Horror Movie Marathon by asking Bill E. Bones how many zombies he saw. Bones makes a few guesses, but Zombzany is not satisfied by his answers. Bill makes one wise crack too many and Zombzany proceeds to return Bones to his grave. Enjoy the final episode of this series, Introducing Zombzany the Necromancer- Part Eleven!

This is the last bit of video that I got off of this first tape that I ganked from Zombzany’s video vault. The old media whore that Zombzany is, there were many more of these dusty old tapes in there that I tucked in my lab coat while he was dirt napping. So you can look forward to seeing more of these videos staring Zombzany, Bill E. Bones, Major Mac Maniac and even your favorite freak, Fritz “Doc” Freakenstein! Let me know what you think of these videos so far and tell me which of Zombzany’s friends or fiends you’d like to see the most!