WE, THE GUARDIANS OF THE GENRE, DO VOW TO ABSTAIN FROM ALL THAT IS MUNDANE AND REVEL IN AND GLORIFY ALL OF THE MANY WONDERS THAT COME WITH THE ACCEPTANCE OF THE GREAT AND GOOD GENRES! SCIENCE FICTION! FANTASY! HORROR!
Showing posts with label FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN. Show all posts
Friday, November 8, 2013
DOC FREAK MEETS WOLF E. BONES - PART EIGHT
Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!
In Part Eight: Doc Freak watches as Zombzany begins to struggle with the spell of immobilization that he has placed on Wolf E. Bones. Doc Freak realizes that Wolf E. will soon be free to attack Zombzany again, so he bids both of them a quick farewell and leaves Zombzany's cemetery. Wolf E. Bones once again becomes mobile and attacks Zombzany, who stops him with his scepter. The two of them battle into the night!
This is the final part of Doc Freak Meets Wolf E. Bones. This is also the final video that will be uploaded to this blog. Anyone interested in further videos featuring Zombzany, Doc Freak and others may find them at:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9ONyPl-PDuq2zhDp2gvDEw?view_as=public
Labels:
COMEDY,
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
HORROR HOST,
VIDEO,
WEREWOLF,
WOLF E. BONES,
ZOMBZANY
Sunday, November 3, 2013
DOC FREAK MEETS WOLF E. BONES - PART SEVEN
Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!
In Part Seven: Doc Freak has hidden from Wolf E. Bones until dusk, and he enters the cemetery of Zombzany the Necromancer. He calls for Zombzany, asking for his aid in returning Wolf E. Bones to his non-werewolf zombie form. Zombzany, the master of his domain, approaches Doc Freak and surprises him. Zombzany is aware of Doc Freak's problem and is unsympathetic to his plight. In fact, Zombzany seems extremely amused by it!
In Part Seven: Doc Freak has hidden from Wolf E. Bones until dusk, and he enters the cemetery of Zombzany the Necromancer. He calls for Zombzany, asking for his aid in returning Wolf E. Bones to his non-werewolf zombie form. Zombzany, the master of his domain, approaches Doc Freak and surprises him. Zombzany is aware of Doc Freak's problem and is unsympathetic to his plight. In fact, Zombzany seems extremely amused by it!
Labels:
COMEDY,
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
HORROR HOST,
VIDEO,
WEREWOLF,
ZOMBZANY
Sunday, October 27, 2013
DOC FREAK MEETS WOLF E. BONES - PART SIX
Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!
In Part Six: Doc Freak has outrun Wolf E. Bones and returned to his lab in search of the anti-werewolf serum, so that he can transform Bones back to his harmless zombie pal. Before Freak is able to locate the serum, Wolf E. Bones attacks him and turns the table of volatile chemicals over that Freak was hiding behind!
In Part Six: Doc Freak has outrun Wolf E. Bones and returned to his lab in search of the anti-werewolf serum, so that he can transform Bones back to his harmless zombie pal. Before Freak is able to locate the serum, Wolf E. Bones attacks him and turns the table of volatile chemicals over that Freak was hiding behind!
Labels:
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
HORROR HOST,
VIDEO,
WEREWOLF,
WOLF E. BONES
Sunday, October 20, 2013
DOC FREAK MEETS WOLF E. BONES - PART FIVE
Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!
In Part Five: Doc Freak is still on the run from Wolf E. Bones, who is overcome by bloodlust in his new werewolf form. Freak, hiding behind a tree, needs to stop Wolf E. Bones long enough to get back to his lab for some "anti-werewolf serum" and transform Bones back to his harmless zombie pal. Freak finds some useful items in his lab coat pockets and concoct something to knock the fuzzy were-zombie out!
In Part Five: Doc Freak is still on the run from Wolf E. Bones, who is overcome by bloodlust in his new werewolf form. Freak, hiding behind a tree, needs to stop Wolf E. Bones long enough to get back to his lab for some "anti-werewolf serum" and transform Bones back to his harmless zombie pal. Freak finds some useful items in his lab coat pockets and concoct something to knock the fuzzy were-zombie out!
Labels:
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
HORROR HOST,
VIDEO,
WEREWOLF,
WOLF E. BONES
Saturday, October 12, 2013
DOC FREAK MEETS WOLF E. BONES - PART FOUR
Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!
In Part Four: Doc Freak witnesses the transference of his zombie pal Bill E. Bones' essence into his new dead body. Freak is alarmed to discover that the new body was a werewolf his former life. Now Bones demands to be known as: Wolf E. Bones!
In Part Four: Doc Freak witnesses the transference of his zombie pal Bill E. Bones' essence into his new dead body. Freak is alarmed to discover that the new body was a werewolf his former life. Now Bones demands to be known as: Wolf E. Bones!
Labels:
BILL E. BONES,
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
HORROR HOST,
VIDEO,
WOLF E. BONES
Sunday, October 6, 2013
DOC FREAK MEETS WOLF E. BONES - PART THREE
Doc Freak and all his friends and enemies are
back in: Doc Freak Meets Wolf E. Bones - Part Three.
Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!
In Part Three: Doc Freak digs up the remains of Bill E. Bones' skeleton and carries them to the new corpse that he dug up previously.
back in: Doc Freak Meets Wolf E. Bones - Part Three.
Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!
In Part Three: Doc Freak digs up the remains of Bill E. Bones' skeleton and carries them to the new corpse that he dug up previously.
Labels:
BILL E. BONES,
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
HORROR HOST,
VIDEO
Saturday, September 28, 2013
DOC FREAK MEETS WOLF E. BONES - PART TWO
Doc Freak and all his friends and enemies are
back in: Doc Freak Meets Wolf E. Bones - Part Two
Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!
In Part Two: Doc enters Zombzany's cemetery to dig up a new cadaver for his zombie friend Bill E. Bones, who is currently buried in the rotting remains of a skeleton in another part of the cemetery.
back in: Doc Freak Meets Wolf E. Bones - Part Two
Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!
In Part Two: Doc enters Zombzany's cemetery to dig up a new cadaver for his zombie friend Bill E. Bones, who is currently buried in the rotting remains of a skeleton in another part of the cemetery.
Labels:
BILL E. BONES,
COMEDY,
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
HORROR HOST,
VIDEO,
WOLF E. BONES,
ZOMBZANY
Sunday, September 15, 2013
DOC FREAK MEETS WOLF E. BONES - PART ONE
Doc Freak and all his friends and enemies are
back in: Doc Freak Meets Wolf E. Bones - Part One
Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!
In Part One: Doc gets a telepathic communication from his zombie pal, Bill E. Bones.
back in: Doc Freak Meets Wolf E. Bones - Part One
Doc Freak hosts this year's Horror Movie Marathon solo!
In Part One: Doc gets a telepathic communication from his zombie pal, Bill E. Bones.
Labels:
BILL E. BONES,
COMEDY,
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
WEREWOLF,
WOLF E. BONES,
ZOMBZANY
Sunday, June 23, 2013
HELLO AND GOODBYE!
Hello my fellow Genre Guardians!
For those few who still are following this blog, you may
have noticed I have not posted any type of written review or article since
February of this year. I did manage to post the last sequence of The Zombzany
Meets Blood E. Bones video, but have not added any video content since that last
one in April. The reason for my lack of posting on Guardians of the Genre is
simply that I have been busy working on other projects. I have been working on
these projects under my real name and not under the pseudonym: Fritz “Doc”
Freak. As anyone who blogs knows, using a pseudonym allows a certain amount of
creative freedom that posting under one’s real name does not. While writing as “Doc”
Freak, I initially kept in character while posting on Guardians of the Genre,
but as time went by, I found this too restricting and ended up writing in my
own voice.
These past three years posting on Guardians of the Genre have
been great fun for the most part, but writing non-fiction has never been one of
my favorite types of writing. I much prefer fiction writing, as I hope showed
in some of my descriptions of the Zombzany videos would indicate. This blog
lends itself to mostly non-fiction writing and that is why I’ve decided to move
on to other things and stop blogging on Guardians of the Genre. In case anyone
is wondering why some of the other characters on this blog cannot continue writing
on Guardians of the Genre in my absence, the simple answer is that I am all of
the characters; which include not only Fritz “Doc” Freakenstein, but Bill E.
Bones, Major Mac Maniac and Zombzany as well. The only other person to write
for this blog was my good friend, who wrote under the pseudonym Professor
Phileas Photon. Unfortunately, “Phileas” is not interested in writing on any
kind of consistent basis, so he will be unable to keep Guardians of the Genre
up and running either. The main character of all my posted videos, Zombzany the
Necromancer, was played in the videos by another good friend of mine.
Unfortunately, I have not have had contact with him for many years and have
been posting these videos in the hope that he might find them in the vastness
of cyberspace and contact me. However, that has not occurred, so I fear
Zombzany’s true “voice” will never be heard on Guardians of the Genre either.
I want to conclude this final posting by thanking all 44
followers of Guardians of the Genre and especially to the people that took the
time to comment on my various posts here. A special thank you goes to The
Sci-Fi Fanatic, with whom I have had many stimulating discussions both here and
on his blog Musings of a Sci-Fi Fanatic. I also want to thank Francisco Gonzalez
of The Film Connoisseur, John Kenneth Muir of John Kenneth Muir's Reflections
on Film/TV and Johnny Thunder of Johnny Thunder's Midnight Spook Frolic. I will
continue to upload more Zombzany videos to YouTube, so anyone who wants to
watch more new Zombzany and Fritz “Doc” Freakenstein adventures will be able to
do so at http://www.youtube.com/user/FritzDocFreak?feature=mhee
Thanks all you wicked cool readers of Guardians of the
Genre!
Monday, April 8, 2013
ZOMBZANY MEETS BLOOD E. BONES -- PART FIVE -- BARON BONES BURIED UNDEAD
In the final installment of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones --
Part Five -- which I've titled “Baron Bones Buried Undead" -- Baron Blood
E. Bones is sitting on Zombzany's throne unattended by his zombie manservant.
Apparently, all the gory films that they have been showing on the all-vampire
marathon has made Blood E. thirsty and during the film had ordered Zombzany to fetch
him a bottle of blood from one of Zombzany’s vintage vaults. While awaiting
Zombzany’s return, Baron Blood E. Bones fills in for Zombzany by telling his
viewers how Count Gore De Vol went from an out-of-work broadcast horror host,
to hosting his own weekly webcast on his very own website. Returning with the
bottle of blood, Zombzany places the bottle into the eager boney hands of the
Baron. Not wanting to wait another minute to swill down the bloody brew, Baron
Blood E. Bones orders Zombzany to introduce the next feature film, Dracula
2000. Zombzany’s less-than-flattering description of the film causes the Baron
to question Zombzany, but Zombzany assures the Baron that he is just having
some fun with the film. Baron Blood E. Bones enthusiastically orders “Doc”
Freak to start the movie.
Returning from the movie, Baron Blood E. Bones is obviously impatient
to watch the final fangtastic feature, until Zombzany reminds him that the
viewers may want to know where the video tapes of Count Gore De Vol that they
have been watching might be procured. Perhaps slightly drunk on the bottled
blood, the Baron humors his undead slave and allows Zombzany one last
monologue. Baron Blood E. Bones then goes on to describe in deathly detail the many
things that make the last film of the marathon, The Forsaken, a “bloody good
show.”
Once the film has concluded, Baron Blood E. Bones begins to realize
that both Zombzany and “Doc” Freak appear to have disappeared from the cemetery
during its run. The Baron grabs the camera off the tripod where Freak had left
it and proceeds to search the perimeter of Zombzany’s cemetery for either of
his missing manservants. Finally, Baron Blood E. Bones sees “Doc” Freak
standing next to an abandoned tool shed in some sort of hypnotic state. Distracted
by Freak, the Baron is unaware of someone who has snuck up behind him and
pushed him forcefully to the ground. Impeded by unknown forces, Baron Blood E.
Bones is unable to get out of what appears to be a shallow grave that he has
fallen in, when he sees a familiar formidable figure looming at the edges of
his increasingly foggy vision. Crying out in vain, Baron Blood E. Bones is
slowly but steadily being buried alive!
Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Five -- Baron
Bones Buried Undead!
Saturday, January 26, 2013
ZOMBZANY MEETS BLOOD E. BONES - PART TWO -- BARON BONES USURPS A THRONE!
In the second part of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part
Two -- which I've titled "Baron Bones Usurps a Throne" -- Zombzany
has apparently recovered from the sleeping drug that “Doc” Freak had one of
Zombzany’s zombie slaves “prescribe” him, and is telling his fans that this
year he will not be hosting the Fifth Annual Scare-a-thon. Suddenly, in a
blinding flash of white-hot light, a large skeletal figure appears menacingly
before Zombzany. “Doc” Freak, who is subbing for the absent zombie Myron behind
the camera, tells Zombzany that he has revived Bill E. Bones. When Zombzany
inquires why Bones is of a much greater stature, Freak informs the Dominator of
the Dead that his special rejuvenation formula contained a calcium-additive
that aided in Bones’ return to his former size. Zombzany attempts to threaten
Bones with his scepter of power, when Bones - who is now calling himself Baron
Blood E. Bones – reveals that he has stolen Zombzany’s magical amulet and is
now immune to Zombzany’s necromancy. Bones tells Zombzany that he now possess
the power of the amulet’s former owner, Count Dracula and puts Zombzany into a
magically enhanced hypnotic trance!
Once again behind the camera, “Doc” Freak convinces Baron
Blood E. Bones that he should host the Fifth Annual Scare-a-thon – particularly
because it is an all vampire movie marathon. Completely in the Baron’s thrall,
Bones orders Zombzany to give the fans a brief description of the horror host
Count Gore de Vol, whom will be part of the evening’s Scare-a-thon. Baron Blood
E. Bones then less-than-enthusiastically introduces the first vampire flick of
the marathon: 1931’s Dracula.
Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones - Part Two -- Baron
Bones Usurps a Throne!
Technical Note: There are two segments of this video where
the original video tape had a wrinkle in it, causing a crackling hiss in the
audio playback. No amount of my adjusting the tape on playback or tweaking the
audio digitally reduced this annoying aural distortion. I apologies for this in
advance and hope that it doesn't detract too much from any enjoyment that you
might derive from this portion of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
ZOMBZANY MEETS BLOOD E. BONES - PART ONE – THE REVENGE OF ‘DOC’ FREAK.
The last series of Zombzany videos that I’ve posted here at
Guardians of the Genre - ZOMBZANY AND THE UNDEAD DOC FREAK – took place
chronologically just a year prior to the events of this latest series in which Zombzany encounters
an adversary nearly his necromantic equal, Baron Blood E. Bones. This and the
several years before and after it are the most well-documented era in
Zombzany’s horror host period; mostly because being the somewhat vain
not-so-mad-not-so-much-scientist that I am, I stole and saved these video tapes
to preserve the encounters that I've had with the Dominator of the Dead. This
is another instance in a more-than ten year period in which Zombzany was coerced
into hosting a horror movie marathon for a local science fiction fan club and
evidently not very well rewarded financially for it.
In the first part of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones – Part One -- which I've titled "The Revenge of ‘Doc’ Freak" -- Zombzany is lying prone on a bench outside of his caretaker’s shack on the outskirts of his cemetery. He is sound asleep and snoring loudly. What is unusual about this is that it is clearly day time and normally Zombzany sleeps at this time safely within the dark confines of his underground tomb. Shortly, ‘Doc’ Freak sneaks up on Zombzany and gently pokes him to see if he is truly asleep. Satisfied that Zombzany is not playing possum, ‘Doc’ Freak thanks Myron, Zombzany’s most intelligent zombie slave, for putting the sleep serum that Freak concocted into Zombzany’s coffee the previous evening. Freak tells Myron and Sebastian that they might as well take a brief “holiday”, because Zombzany will be incapacitated long enough for him to put his “master plan in motion”. Waving as the zombies slowly shuffle off to who-knows-where, Freak then leans over Zombzany and carefully removes the magic amulet around Zombzany’s neck. Freak is somewhat intimidated by the amulet, as he knows that it contains some type of dark mystical energy that was transferred to it by its previous owner, Count Dracula. ‘Doc’ Freak jumps for joy as he heads off to look for the location of the grave of Zombzany’s most disloyal slave: Bill E. Bones.

Night has arrived and ‘Doc’ Freak, flashlight in hand, is still looking for Bill E. Bones’ unmarked grave. Finally stumbling on it – almost literally – Freak takes a carton of special ingredients from his lab coat pocket. ‘Doc’ Freak then spreads the “ass-kickin’ rejuvenation formula” on the grave of Bill E. Bones and commands the skeletal zombie to arise from his grave. Mystical smoke clouds the cemetery and suddenly Bones’ hand thrusts itself self out of the ground. ‘Doc’ Freak helps his zombie friend from the soil and places a cape around his shoulders. Freak then takes Zombzany’s magical amulet from his pocket and places it around the neck of Bones. Perhaps blind with the excitement of ousting Zombzany from his own tomb with the scientifically (and perhaps unintentionally magically) reanimated Bones, Freak doesn't notice the considerable difference in weight and stature in his formerly diminutive skeletal friend. Together, Freak and Bones head to the tomb of Zombzany and prepare to become the dominator of their former Master!
Labels:
BILL E. BONES,
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
VIDEO,
ZOMBIE,
ZOMBZANY
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
A TOTALLY CAPTIVATING COMMENT ON TOTAL RECALL!
As an addendum to my first post of 2013 - A REVIEW OF THEGENRE MOVIES OF 2012 – I lamented the lack of comments that I have been getting
recently on my reviews of films here at GUARDIANS OF THE GENRE! I wrote “The
most pleasure I get from writing film reviews is the comments that I receive on
them and lately there have been fewer than I would like. I hope that it is not
the quality of the reviews themselves that have caused this sparsity of
comments; but rather the ridiculous CAPTCHAs that Blogger uses to prevent
spammers from posting comments.” I have been rewarded recently with a comment
from fellow blogger Troy.
On August 5, 2012 I posted my review of Total Recall (2012):
TOTAL RECALL – 2012 – TOTALLY CAPTIVATING. I have now received three comments
on this review – one more or less agreeing with me – thanks Dan O – and one fervently
disagreeing with me – thank you, as well, Mark! I just received a comment on
this post that I thought was so filled with interesting ideas and conflicting
opinions of the film, that, knowing that most will not read his comments buried
at the end of an old post, I decided to share it here in a separate post.
January 9, 2013 7:21 AM
Troy:
People riff on about how wonderful the original was. Was it?
Seriously? Arnie is better of portraying a cyborg than attempting to pull off a
human being. Some plot device about an alien reactor conveniently left unused?
The whole core of Mars is ice? Insta-terraforming to Earth normal pressure(with
a pure O2 atmosphere) and leaving the core of Mars rather depleted? This was
Paul Verhoeven directing, the same man who butchered Starship Troopers.
"What if dis is all a dream?" "Well then kiss me quick before you
wake up."
Whilst everyone is piling on the hate, this is closer to the
original "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale" by Philip K. Dick.
Quaid's character is a lot closer to the original Quail. As for the
mind-bending said of it will, if you look at Total Recall 2012 and then re-read
the story then it becomes pretty ambiguous as to whether the second half of the
movie was real or not. As for the whole invasion thing - yes, that was how the
story ended, sort of. Not a microwave meal terraforming. As for
"Hauser," Quaid's motivation was, that he was actually a really nice
guy deep down, if a little messed up. As for Kristen / Melina, it's probably
intentional that they look similar (partly because Melina never existed).
Melina is just like Kristen's "undercover" persona. The end fight
between Kristen and Quaid makes this apparent - also that the final scenes of
the movie might not be real, as the Philip K. Dick story implies.
The trouble is, you just don't see all of this because
you're too busy looking for bits from the original Total Recall. It's not a
Total Recall remake. It's another film adaptation of We Can Remember It For
You, which borrows a few characters (partly because there only half a dozen in
the 22 page short story). I only realized this when I reread the story.
As for the Fall, the actual elevator describes a hyperbolic
path through the Earth's outer core and mantle, all of which are liquid. Since
the core also rotates, it's impossible to drill through anything but the core
axis. The elevator constantly accelerates *downward* (so the seats are actually
oriented upside down immediately after the drop commences) and doesn't just
drop.
Here is my reply to Troy’s comments:
January 9, 2013 2:37 PM
Fritz “Doc” Freakenstein:
Hello, Troy! Thank you for all the fascinating comments on
Total Recall.
I think much of the love for 1990’s Total Recall is based on
nostalgia. I grew up in the 1960s watching the classic (and not so classic)
horror and science fiction films of the 40s and 50s, so I tend to be nostalgic
- and hence less critical - about those films. Many people who write blogs
today grew up in the 80s and tend to be more nostalgic about the films they
watched from the 80s on video tape or at the theater in the 90s. While I was –
and still am – a fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s films, I do agree that he was
not an actor, but more of a star. One of the reasons that his films, including
Total Recall 1990, are filled with so many one-liners is because humor tends to
off-set Arnold’s lack of credulity as a three-dimensional character. All
science fiction films made by Hollywood contain some – and usually many –
scientific errors. As long as they aren't too blatant to this non-scientist’s
eyes, I’m willing to give them a pass in the name of entertainment or artistic
license. The whole “Insta-terraforming to Earth normal pressure (with a pure O2
atmosphere)” sequence at the end of Total Recall 1990 was one mistake that
really stood out to me. Because it was so essential to end of the film’s plot,
it really kept me from liking it as much as I might have. Yes, as a reader of
Heinlein’s novel, Paul Verhoeven indeed “butchered Starship Troopers”.
Not having read Dick’s story, I’ll have to take your word
for it that “this [Total Recall 2012] is closer to the original ‘We Can
Remember It for You Wholesale’ by Philip K. Dick”. Despite the many classic SF
novels that I have read, P. K. Dick was never one of my favorite authors, so
I've only read his novel “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sleep” after having
seen Blade Runner, the movie which is based on it. As for which film accurately
portrays the idea of what is real and what isn't real; I honestly think both
films did not do an adequate job of this. These types of internalized ideas are
very difficult to portray in a visual medium like film, so the fact that Total
Recall 2012 lacked in this regard didn't bother me too much. I do think you
make some good points defending the film’s attempts to do just that and perhaps
I’ll catch more of them on a re-watch.
Obviously, I agree with you about Total Recall 2012. “It's
not a Total Recall remake. It's another film adaptation of “We Can Remember It
for You”, which borrows a few characters”, is a perfect way to describe the
film, which is why I began my review of it saying pretty much the same thing.
I've done some writing here at GOTG! on the subject of remakes, re-imaginings
and prequel/sequels to classic film and how 99% of the time, people who love
the original are going to dislike the remake.
I did quite a bit of research before I expressed my quibbles
about the scientific accuracy of the gravity elevator used in Total Recall 2012
and I still stand by my reasoning that this simply would not be possible as
portrayed in the film. If, as you say, ”the actual elevator describes a hyperbolic
path through the Earth's outer core and mantle”, then it might be possible for
this mechanism to work. I just thought I remembered the film describing the
elevator as going in a straight line through the core of the Earth and not a
hyperbolic path through the mantle.
It looks like I need to re-watch Total Recall 2012 with
these ideas in mind. Thanks again for your deep and interesting comments on
Total Recall and my review of it. Please do stop by again soon, Troy!
Labels:
COMMENTS,
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
OPINION
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
A REVIEW OF THE GENRE MOVIES OF 2012
The genre movies of 2012 were plentiful, but the quality was
less so. I attended more theatrical films this year than I have for many years.
Partly, so that I could write more timely reviews for this blog, but also because
I had been anticipating most of them long enough that I knew I didn't want to wait
the extra four months before being able to rent them on disc. As I have written
in this blog in the past, I am also a firm believer that if, as a genre fan,
you wish more Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror films to be made, the best
way to tell the film industry to do this is by seeing these films at the
theater, where most of the profit for films is still made.
Here is a list of all the genre films I saw in 2012 and
most of them I reviewed here in GOTG! I have listed them from best to worst,
using my numerical grading system to place them in order.
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS - 96
JOHN CARTER - 96
PROMETHEUS - 95
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN - 95
TOTAL RECALL - 91
THE DARK KNIGHT RISES – 90
MEN IN BLACK 3 - 90
IRON SKY – 90
RED LIGHTS – 89
RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION - 88
UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING - 87
THE HUNGER GAMES - 86
DETENTION - 85
CHRONICLE - 82
BATTLESHIP - 82
DREDD – 80
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER – 79*
WEREWOLF: THE BEAST AMONG US – 78 *
BAIT – 75 *
STARSHIP TROOPERS: INVASION – 72 *
NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH – 70 *
THE TALL MAN – 65 *
THE DIVIDE – 63
* These films were not reviewed on GOTG! either from lack
of time or lack of interest. I still have a difficult time mustering up the
effort to write reviews of bad or boring films.
I’m looking forward to 2013 and the many genre films that
will be released. At the top of my most anticipated genre movie releases for
2013 are: Pacific Rim, Star Trek: Into Darkness, Iron Man 3, Ender's Game,
Elysium, Riddick, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, Thor: The Dark World, The
Man of Steel, World War Z, Oblivion, I, Frankenstein, and though technically
not a SF, Fantasy or Horror film - Sin City: A Dame to Kill For.
I’d like to apologize ahead of time because this year I
will not be reviewing every genre movie that I see in this blog. I almost made
my goal of doing so in 2012 and even then I omitted a few – although only one
of them was a theatrical viewing. I find the process of writing film reviews to
be more work than fun and my primary goal in starting this blog was to have
fun. The most pleasure I get from writing film reviews is the comments that I receive
on them and lately there have been fewer than I would like. I hope that it is
not the quality of the reviews themselves that have caused this sparsity of comments;
but rather the ridiculous CAPTCHAs that Blogger uses to prevent spammers from
posting comments. I find these extremely irritating and they have definitely reduced
the number of comments that I post on other people’s blogs.
I will still be posting my opinions, my interests and the
Zombzany videos on GOTG! I will also still be writing film reviews if time and
interest permits.
Thank you to all the followers of this blog for reading
and contributing comments to it and to anyone else who has taken the time to
read or leave comments here.
Happy 2013 everyone!
Labels:
COMMENTS,
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
MOVIES,
OPINION
Saturday, December 29, 2012
ZOMBZANY AND THE UNDEAD DOC FREAK: PART EIGHT -- BAD TO THE LAST DROP
In the eighth and final part of Zombzany and the Undead Doc
Freak -- which I've titled "Bad to the Last Drop" -- Zombzany introduces
the final film of the horror movie marathon, while waiting for his newly
silenced zombie slave Doc Freak to return with his final caffeinated beverage
of the evening. Freak bows before his master and delivers him his coffee. After
taking a long sip, Zombzany begins to choke and realizes that Freak has once
again spiked his coffee with sugar. Zombzany grabs Freak by the collar and
drags him out of his Tomb to deliver a king-size beat-down on his disobedient
zombie slave. Myron then mercifully, or mercilessly, depending on your taste in
zombie films, segues into the final film of the marathon.
When they come back from the end of the final film, Zombzany
reads a new scripted soliloquy to bring the horror movie marathon to a close.
Clearly unhappy with the script, Zombzany inquires of his zombie slaves, who
wrote the closing speech, but none dare challenge the Dominator of the Dead.
Displeased with his newly zombiefied slave, Zombzany decides the best
punishment for Doc Freak is to return to him his mortal life. Zombzany casts a powerful
remortalisation spell on Doc Freak, which causes Freak to fall head-over-heels
onto the ground. Quickly recovering, Doc Freak realizes that his is once again mortal
and runs back to his lab vowing vengeance on Zombzany. Zombzany merely smiles
and returns to the beloved sanctuary of his tomb.
Enjoy Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part Eight -- Bad
to the Last Drop.
Labels:
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
HORROR HOST,
VIDEO,
ZOMBZANY
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY WHO YEAR!
From Fritz "Doc" Freakenstein, Bill E. Bones, Major Mac Maniac, Professor Phileas Photon, Zombzany and all the zombies, werewolves and ghouls...
HAPPY
HOLIDAYS!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
ZOMBZANY AND THE UNDEAD DOC FREAK: PART SEVEN -- THE CHOKE IS ON FREAK
In the seventh part of Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak --
which I've titled "The Choke is on Freak" –Zombzany is asleep on his
throne, snoring away, apparently exhausted from the many attempts at a rejuvenation
spell to heal Doc Freak of his missing arms. Freak tries to revive his master
by showing him a DVD copy of his favorite movie White Zombie, but to no avail
as Zombzany continues to snore away.
Doc Freak decides this is a perfect time to demonstrate his
horror movie hosting abilities and begins to regale his audience about the magnificent
virtues of Scream 3 and all of Wes Craven’s films. Unseen by Freak, Zombzany arises
behind Freak and begins charging his staff menacingly. Suddenly, Zombzany takes
his magically-charged power staff and places it around Doc Freak’s throat;
choking the words from his mouth. Pleased with the sound of silence, Zombzany encourages
Myron to start the next film in the horror movie marathon.
Enjoy Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part Seven -- The
Choke is on Freak.
Labels:
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
HORROR HOST,
VIDEO,
ZOMBZANY
Thursday, November 15, 2012
ZOMBZANY AND THE UNDEAD DOC FREAK: PART SIX -- DOC FREAK DISARMED
In the sixth part of Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak --
which I've titled "Doc Freak Disarmed" -- Zombzany regales his
viewers with a story about Zacherley running for president with the slogan “Put
a Ghoul in the White House.” Despite his fear of punishment, Freak enters the
tomb and tells Zombzany that according to his source, the slogan was “Put a
Vampire in the White House.” Zombzany refutes this claim and uses a spell to
dash Freak to the ground.
Zombzany sarcastically goes into an unflattering description
of the next film in the horror movie marathon and Freak can be heard in the
background screaming for Zombzany’s attention. At the conclusion of Zombzany’s soliloquy,
Freak confronts Zombzany, showing him that his spell has now removed Doc Freak’s
other hand. When Freak explains to Zombzany that without hands, he won’t be
able to serve his master his coffee, Zombzany attempts a regenerative spell to
restore Freak’s missing appendages.
The spell goes awry and Doc Freak is now missing both of his
arms!
Enjoy Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part Six -- Doc
Freak Disarmed.
Labels:
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
HORROR,
HORROR HOST,
VIDEO,
ZACHERLEY,
ZOMBZANY
Sunday, November 4, 2012
ZOMBZANY AND THE UNDEAD DOC FREAK: PART FIVE – DOMINATOR OF THE DUMMIES
In the fifth part of Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak --
which I've titled "Dominator of the Dummies" -- Zombzany begins to
introduce the next film of the horror movie marathon, when he is interrupted by
Doc Freak. Freak is complaining that he doesn’t have sufficient bandages to
wrap his dismembered hand properly. Zombzany is extremely unsympathetic and
concludes his introduction, warning Freak not to interrupt him again.
Zombzany then proceeds to completely ignore the film being
shown and read from a book. Doc Freak is curious and swathed in bandages, limps
before Zombzany, attempting to get a look at what Zombzany is reading. After
his inquiries are rebuffed by the surly Necromancer, Fritz grabs the book and
Zombzany and Freak begin fighting over the possession of the tome. After a brief struggle, both combatants fall
to the ground - momentarily stunned!
Freak is the first to revive and uses the opportunity to retrieve
the book from Zombzany’s grasp. When Doc Freak sees what Zombzany has been
reading, he suddenly has second thoughts about asking Zombzany to use his
necromantic magic to heal his wounds.
Enjoy Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part Five –
Dominator of the Dummies.
Labels:
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
HORROR HOST,
VIDEO,
ZOMBZANY
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
ZOMBZANY AND THE UNDEAD DOC FREAK: PART FOUR -- DOC FREAK GETS STUMPED
In the fourth part of Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak --
which I've titled "Doc Freak Gets Stumped" -- Zombzany impatiently
waits for Doc Freak to return from the store with his coffee. When Freak
returns empty handed, Freak explains to Zombzany why he took so long and that
he’ll have a fresh cup brewed up in a jiffy. Freak hurries off, but inquires how
Zombzany likes his coffee to be prepared and Zombzany replies that he likes it
with “two lumps of arsenic and a finger of type-O.”
While Zombzany waits still longer for his caffeinated infusion,
he begrudgingly introduces the second feature of the horror movie marathon.
Finally Doc Freak returns with Zombzany’s coffee and he proffers the coffee by
prostrating his newly undead form before his necromancer master. Zombzany takes
one sip of the beverage and proceeds to spit it out. He then removes an entire
hand from the coffee cup and tosses it back at the now one-handed Freak.
Freak desperately attempts to reattach the extracted extremity.
He finally gives up and resorts to fleeing from the angry self-professed King
of the Zombies!
Enjoy Zombzany and the Undead Doc Freak: Part Four -- Doc
Freak Gets Stumped.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
FROM DOC FREAK AND ALL THE GUARDIANS OF THE GENRE!
FROM DOC FREAK AND ALL THE GUARDIANS OF THE GENRE!
Labels:
FRITZ DOC FREAKENSTEIN,
HORROR HOST,
VIDEO,
ZOMBZANY
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