Showing posts with label BARON BLOOD E. BONES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BARON BLOOD E. BONES. Show all posts

Monday, April 8, 2013

ZOMBZANY MEETS BLOOD E. BONES -- PART FIVE -- BARON BONES BURIED UNDEAD




In the final installment of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Five -- which I've titled “Baron Bones Buried Undead" -- Baron Blood E. Bones is sitting on Zombzany's throne unattended by his zombie manservant. Apparently, all the gory films that they have been showing on the all-vampire marathon has made Blood E. thirsty and during the film had ordered Zombzany to fetch him a bottle of blood from one of Zombzany’s vintage vaults. While awaiting Zombzany’s return, Baron Blood E. Bones fills in for Zombzany by telling his viewers how Count Gore De Vol went from an out-of-work broadcast horror host, to hosting his own weekly webcast on his very own website. Returning with the bottle of blood, Zombzany places the bottle into the eager boney hands of the Baron. Not wanting to wait another minute to swill down the bloody brew, Baron Blood E. Bones orders Zombzany to introduce the next feature film, Dracula 2000. Zombzany’s less-than-flattering description of the film causes the Baron to question Zombzany, but Zombzany assures the Baron that he is just having some fun with the film. Baron Blood E. Bones enthusiastically orders “Doc” Freak to start the movie.



Returning from the movie, Baron Blood E. Bones is obviously impatient to watch the final fangtastic feature, until Zombzany reminds him that the viewers may want to know where the video tapes of Count Gore De Vol that they have been watching might be procured. Perhaps slightly drunk on the bottled blood, the Baron humors his undead slave and allows Zombzany one last monologue. Baron Blood E. Bones then goes on to describe in deathly detail the many things that make the last film of the marathon, The Forsaken, a “bloody good show.”


Once the film has concluded, Baron Blood E. Bones begins to realize that both Zombzany and “Doc” Freak appear to have disappeared from the cemetery during its run. The Baron grabs the camera off the tripod where Freak had left it and proceeds to search the perimeter of Zombzany’s cemetery for either of his missing manservants. Finally, Baron Blood E. Bones sees “Doc” Freak standing next to an abandoned tool shed in some sort of hypnotic state. Distracted by Freak, the Baron is unaware of someone who has snuck up behind him and pushed him forcefully to the ground. Impeded by unknown forces, Baron Blood E. Bones is unable to get out of what appears to be a shallow grave that he has fallen in, when he sees a familiar formidable figure looming at the edges of his increasingly foggy vision. Crying out in vain, Baron Blood E. Bones is slowly but steadily being buried alive!



Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Five -- Baron Bones Buried Undead!


Monday, March 18, 2013

ZOMBZANY MEETS BLOOD E. BONES -- PART FOUR -- SLAVE ZOMBO MAKES A JOKE?




In the forth part of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Four -- which I've titled "Slave Zombo Makes a Joke?" -- Baron Bones remains on Zombzany's throne and continues to demonstrate his domination over Zombzany by applying a swift kick to his shins. The Baron orders Zombzany to carry on with his aural memoir of Count Gore de Vol and this time Zombzany manages to please even the obstinate Baron. Baron Blood E. Bones announces the next modern horror movie; encouraging his cameraman to “Roll them bones.”



Returning from the movie, Baron Blood E. Bones continues his physical abuse of Zombzany with a poke to the former Necromancer’s considerable paunch. Apparently, Bones is a fan of the Blade trilogy, as he announces the next film as “a vampire classic.”



Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Four -- Slave Zombo Makes a Joke?


Wednesday, February 27, 2013

ZOMBZANY MEETS BLOOD E. BONES - PART THREE -- BARON BONES DISSES ZOMBO!




In the second part of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Three -- which I've titled "Baron Bones Disses Zombo" – Baron Bones is still sitting on Zombzany’s throne and seems to be relishing his domination over Zombzany. The Baron orders Zombzany to continue his aural biography of Count Gore de Vol, which Zombzany obediently executes, only to berated by the Baron upon completion. Baron Blood E. Bones introduces the next modern horror movie with much more enthusiasm than the previous film, as apparently this one contains copious amounts of blood and violence.



Returning from the movie, Baron Blood E. Bones forces the still comatose Zombzany to continue his Count Gore-ography and this time Zombzany seems to improve his oration to the Baron’s satisfaction. Baron Blood E. Bones introduces another fang-tastic flick; this one a foreign film that apparently portrays acts of bloodletting that really gets Bones wound-up!



Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones - Part Thee -- Baron Bones Disses Zombo!


Saturday, January 26, 2013

ZOMBZANY MEETS BLOOD E. BONES - PART TWO -- BARON BONES USURPS A THRONE!




In the second part of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Two -- which I've titled "Baron Bones Usurps a Throne" -- Zombzany has apparently recovered from the sleeping drug that “Doc” Freak had one of Zombzany’s zombie slaves “prescribe” him, and is telling his fans that this year he will not be hosting the Fifth Annual Scare-a-thon. Suddenly, in a blinding flash of white-hot light, a large skeletal figure appears menacingly before Zombzany. “Doc” Freak, who is subbing for the absent zombie Myron behind the camera, tells Zombzany that he has revived Bill E. Bones. When Zombzany inquires why Bones is of a much greater stature, Freak informs the Dominator of the Dead that his special rejuvenation formula contained a calcium-additive that aided in Bones’ return to his former size. Zombzany attempts to threaten Bones with his scepter of power, when Bones - who is now calling himself Baron Blood E. Bones – reveals that he has stolen Zombzany’s magical amulet and is now immune to Zombzany’s necromancy. Bones tells Zombzany that he now possess the power of the amulet’s former owner, Count Dracula and puts Zombzany into a magically enhanced hypnotic trance!



Once again behind the camera, “Doc” Freak convinces Baron Blood E. Bones that he should host the Fifth Annual Scare-a-thon – particularly because it is an all vampire movie marathon. Completely in the Baron’s thrall, Bones orders Zombzany to give the fans a brief description of the horror host Count Gore de Vol, whom will be part of the evening’s Scare-a-thon. Baron Blood E. Bones then less-than-enthusiastically introduces the first vampire flick of the marathon: 1931’s Dracula.



Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones - Part Two -- Baron Bones Usurps a Throne!



Technical Note: There are two segments of this video where the original video tape had a wrinkle in it, causing a crackling hiss in the audio playback. No amount of my adjusting the tape on playback or tweaking the audio digitally reduced this annoying aural distortion. I apologies for this in advance and hope that it doesn't detract too much from any enjoyment that you might derive from this portion of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones.