Tuesday, September 6, 2011


Zombzany the Necromancer, being a zombie himself, has lived a long undead life. It seems that even immortal necromancers need to make an un-living as Zombzany has had many professions over the years. Despite his seeming distaste for the medium he refers to as a televisual travesty, Zombzany has certainly dipped his dead toes into the electronic-media muck on many occasions. Zombzany has appeared on TV as himself from time to time, but in most instances he usually appears before the cameras as one of his many aliases. I can only hazard a guess as to why he has created such a plethora of assumed identities, but I suspect that Zombzany wishes to hide his immortality from the unwashed masses of humanity. I also think he’s embarrassed that he has had to debase himself by appearing on the “moron machine” with such frequency.
In my ten years of being Zombzany’s neighbor, I have had many confrontations with the Necromancer Supreme. Most of the time, I feel lucky to have escaped Zombzany’s cemetery alive. In fact, one time I didn’t even manage that. That, however, is a story for another time. What little leverage that I have had with Zombzany over the years, has come from my pilfering his collection of his vast video recordings of his many TV appearances. It would seem that Zombzany’s head is as inflated as his waistline, because why else would he save so many of these recordings that he considers to be so embarrassing? I still possess many of these tapes and I will gradually share all of them with you here on Guardians of the Genre!

Sometime in the early 1960's, Zombzany was apparently attempting to cash in on the Beatnik craze of the previous decade. Somewhere in my collection, I have an actual episode of Zombeatnik the Hip Psychic, which was a call-in show where people called in asking for advice from the Hip Psychic. In this recording from the mid-60’s, Zombeatnik evidently managed to acquire a licensing partner and he is hawking an instant cappuccino with his name and picture emblazoned on it. I think it is ridiculous to think that Zombzany as Zombeatnik thought anyone would be stupid enough to buy his Psy-Quick Cappuccino, but you do have to admire his enterprising spirit. Enjoy this commercial message for Zombeatnik’s Psy-Quick Cappuccino!

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