THE THING – 2011 – A PALE IMITATION OF THE REAL THING

"The biggest problem with this film is that there is no suspense because you know how the film must end before it even begins. What makes horror work is not knowing who is going to survive the antagonist, so this vital aspect of the plot is removed from The Thing. All we are left with is trying to identify with these characters and hoping that they will at least make an effort to survive that is interesting and exhilarating. For the most part, The Thing disappoints in this regard as well."

Science Fiction, Horror and Action

Starring - Mary Elizabeth Winstead/Kate Lloyd, Joel Edgerton/Sam Carter, Ulrich Thomsen/Dr. Sander Halvorson, Eric Christian Olsen/Adam Finch, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje/Jameson, Paul Braunstein/Griggs, Trond Espen Seim/Edvard Wolner and Kim Bubbs/Juliette

Director - Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.

Writer - Eric Heisserer

Rated R - strong creature violence and gore, disturbing images, and language

The Thing is a prequel to the 1982 film of the same name. John Carpenter’s The Thing is considered to be a modern classic sci-fi horror film and when I saw it in the theater in June of 1982 I would have concurred with that assessment. I watched The Thing again last year in HD on Netflix in preparation of seeing the “prequel”, and it was not the film I remembered. While I still appreciated the nicely squeamish alien effects and the general feeling of isolation and growing paranoia that Carpenter generated in the film, the characters felt underdeveloped and the film just didn’t have the same emotional impact on me the way it did twenty-nine years prior. The more I read about the reverential approach that the director of The Thing prequel were taking to make their film, the more I became disinterested in seeing this Thing.

Trying to keep an open a mind as possible, I watched the blu-ray of The Thing and still found myself very underwhelmed. I just couldn’t help but think to myself why was this film even made? I actually could understand it better if they made a straight up remake. After all, the 1982 The Thing is a remake of the 1951 The Thing from Another World, both of which are liberal adaptations of the short story "Who Goes There?" by the science fiction editor/writer John W. Campbell Jr. There have already been two other science fiction novels that have been remade multiple times. The Body Snatchers, the 1955 science fiction novel by Jack Finney, was made into films in 1956, 1978, 1993 and 2007. I Am Legend, the 1954 Richard Matheson novel, was made into films in 1964, 1971 and 2007. Hollywood obviously has no shame when it comes to recycling the same stories over and over again, so why not another The Thing as well?

Instead, the writer became obsessed with telling the story of the Norwegian camp from the first film, as Heisserer explained in interviews that in writing the script it was necessary for him to research all the information that was revealed about the Norwegian camp from the first film, down to the smallest details, so that it could be incorporated into the prequel in order to create a consistent backstory. Considering that this backstory of the Norwegian’s is a complete fabrication of 1982 The Thing’s screenplay writer Bill Lancaster, I think by going even further away from the source material for inspiration to make an entire feature film is senseless. What makes this story even more uninspired is that it essentially tells exactly the same story as the 1982 The Thing, only with different characters!

The film opens with two of the Norwegian research team literally falling through the Antarctic ice onto the buried alien spaceship. An expedition goes looking for the missing men and finds instead the frozen body of a misshaped alien creature. Dr. Sander Halvorson, the head of the Norwegian team, recruits an American Paleontologist Kate Lloyd to help excavate and examine the alien body. Kate is flown to the Antarctic base by fellow Americans Carter, Derek and Griggs.

The alien is excavated from the ice, but left frozen in a block of it when brought into the camp. As the Norwegians drunkenly celebrate their find, Derek sees the alien inexplicably burst free of the ice and escape the building. The Norwegians and Americans split into small search parties and as soon as two of the Norwegians find it, it kills Henrik with Olav running away for help. The others return and use a flame thrower to burn the creature to death. Halvorson and Lloyd examine the remains and discover that the alien’s cells are still alive and are consuming and imitating Henrick’s cells.

The scientists devise a method of testing the blood to determine who the alien is imitating, but the lab is destroyed, so Lloyd devises another method to tell human from alien imitation. Despite their best efforts, one by one the humans are killed by the alien, leaving only a few left to keep the alien from contaminating the rest of the world.

One of the few interesting things about this Thing is the alien spacecraft. We see a glimpse of it in the beginning of the film, but the final act of the film makes use of it even better. Unfortunately, because this is a prequel, the events at the end of this film must not conflict with the beginning of the 1982 film and what could have been an interesting twist at the end is ruined. The biggest problem with this film is that there is no suspense because you know how the film must end before it even begins. What makes horror work is not knowing who is going to survive the antagonist, so this vital aspect of the plot is removed from The Thing. All we are left with is trying to identify with these characters and hoping that they will at least make an effort to survive that is interesting and exhilarating. For the most part, The Thing disappoints in this regard as well.

If some filmmaker in the next ten or fifteen years decides the time is right for another Thing film, I for one hope that they create their own original and fresh take on the film and not resort to slavishly imitating another filmmaker’s past glories.

TECHNICAL: Acting – 7 Directing – 7 Cinematography – 8 Script – 7 Special Effects – 8

VISCERAL: Visual – 8 Auditory – 8 Intellectual – 7 Emotional – 7 Involvement – 7

TOTAL RATING – 74

ZOMBZANY MEETS DOC FREAK - PART FOUR - HOWLING HIBERNATION

In the fourth part of Zombzany Meets Doc Freak titled "Howling Hibernation", Zombzany is standing beside "Doc" Freak, when he hears the howling of what he assumes is a werewolf attempting to invade his cemetery. Zombzany leaves to investigate and Doc Freak suddenly becomes animate once again. Taking a bottle of some type of poison out of his lab coat pocket, Freak gleefully begins pouring the majority of its contents into Zombzany’s large coffee mug. Freak then immediately leaves Zombzany’s throne tomb before the Necromancer returns.

Zombzany at last finds the source of the “howling” and it is none other than his skeletal zombie servant, Bill E. Bones! Bones is cowering behind a tree, hoping to avoid the punishing wrath of his vengeful master! Zombzany sees the cringing Bones and unleashes a spectacular spell of detonation upon Bill.

Zombzany returns to his crypt, to find that Freak has left the premises. Assuming that his spell of immobilization has worn off, Zombzany is glad that Freak has fled so that he can resume his eloquent and informative discourse on the next horror film in the movie marathon, Ghost of Frankenstein. Evidently Freak was lurking nearby, because once again he rushes onto the “set” and regales Zombzany on the virtues of Ghost of Frankenstein. Zombzany is becoming more bored than irritated by Freak’s ravings and takes a protracted swallow of his contaminated coffee. Almost immediately, Zombzany falls into a deep coma-like state. Doc Freak turns around to see that his scheme to decimate the Dominator of the Dead has succeeded and jumps for joy at the prospect of taking over the hosting of the classic horror movie marathon.

Enjoy, Zombzany Meets Doc Freak - Part Four - Howling Hibernation!

TRAILER TUESDAY! THE AVENGERS: EARTH'S MIGHTIEST HEROES!

If you’re anything like me and are waiting impatiently for The Avengers movie that is coming to theaters May fourth, I discovered something with which to tide your superhero-team jones over! The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes is a half-hour animated TV program that debuted on Disney XD in the fall of 2010. I haven’t watched animated shows with any regularity for many years now, so it comes as no surprise that this show escaped my notice. However, the entire 26-episode run of the first season of The Avengers: EMH is now on Netflix streaming. At 23 minutes per episode, the stories fly by as they are jammed-packed with super-heroic action!

The roster of superheroes for The Avengers: EMH is almost the same as the upcoming Marvel film. However, the series initially features a team based on the roster of the original 1960’s Marvel Comics Avengers, which is comprised of Iron Man, Ant-Man, Hulk, Thor, and the Wasp. Later in the series, they are joined by Captain America, Black Panther, and Hawkeye. As a fan who grew up reading the 1960’s and 1970’s Avengers comics, I really appreciate that the series is based primarily on the original stories by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. There are a few concessions to the modernization of certain Marvel characters – namely Nick Fury is a black man (oddly with hair in season one) that is clearly based on the Samuel L. Jackson film version of the character. Since S.H.E.I.L.D., like the movies, is largely responsible for gathering together the Avengers, Nick Fury’s character plays a prominent role in the show.

The second season of The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes is already running on Disney XD on Sunday mornings at 11:37 Am, right after the new Ultimate Spiderman show (which I’m also watching, but not quite as excited about), so once you get caught up, you can look forward to even more super-heroic adventure of The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes!

COMIC BOOK OF THE WEEK! 4/1/12 – SAUCER COUNTRY #1

I was not familiar with either the work of writer Paul Cornell or the artist Ryan Kelly when I saw the advanced previews for Saucer Country. However, the concept was just different enough from most sci-fi comics currently being published, that I knew I just had to give it a try. Still, I did do a little more research before purchasing the first issue and was excited by what I did find out.

The writer Paul Cornell has a vast and diverse backlog of writing. He got his start by writing screenplays for British Television. He has written episodes for Doctor Who, Robin Hood and Primeval. He has also written several Doctor Who novels, as well as two original science fiction novels. He has written many British and American comics stories, and was the writer on DC Comics' Demon Knights and Stormwatch. This is his first foray into a creator-owned title and will be published monthly by DC Comics' Vertigo line.

Artist Ryan Kelly is best known for working with writer Brian Wood: penciling and inking the entire twelve issue run of the Oni Press comics series Local and a story arc ("The Cross + the Hammer") for Northlanders. I haven’t read either these, but as the preview pages below demonstrate, Kelly has the ability to render unique and believable characters, which should serve him well on Saucer Country.

 

Vertigo describes Saucer Country thus:

Arcadia Alvarado, the leading Democratic candidate for President of the United States, says she was "abducted by aliens."As the Mexican-American Governor of New Mexico, she's dealing with immigration, budget cuts and an alcoholic ex. She's about to toss her hat into the ring as a candidate for President in the most volatile political climate ever. But then…a lonely road and a nightmarish encounter have left her with terrible, half-glimpsed memories. And now she has to become President. To expose the truth – and maybe, to save the world. With the help of her quirky staff, Arcadia will pursue the truth of her abduction into danger, mystery and awe. SAUCER COUNTRY is a dark thriller that blends UFO lore and alien abduction with political intrigue, all set in the hauntingly beautiful Southwest.

All of this is beautifully conveyed in the first issue. We see Arcadia in a dream sequence being abducted by aliens. Then we accompany her on her final meeting with her staff. We then see her at a rally where she announces her run for President of the United States. We see all of these important aspects her story from her point of view and we’re not led to any direct conclusions as to what happened to Arcadia is true or not.

I think the blend of politics and Ufology makes this a fascinating comic series. I’m not completely sure where the story is headed, but I’m very interested in finding out. If you have any interest in politics, UFO mythology or just real characters put into unreal situations, then I definitely recommend you give Saucer Country a try.

PLEASE VOTE ON THE “WHICH OF THESE FILMS DO YOU PLAN ON SEEING IN APRIL OF 2012?” POLL!

Thank you for voting in the - Which of these films do you plan on seeing in March of 2012 – poll! The results of the twelve people who voted were most interested in seeing John Carter with 8 votes (66%). I saw this film at the theater, but unfortunately many people did not. If more people had seen it, it may have made enough money for a sequel – which I would have loved to see – but unfortunately it did not.

The next highest vote getters were The Hunger Games and Wrath of the Titans, both of which received six votes (50%). I was not interested in The Hunger Games enough to see it at the theater, as I haven’t read the books; nor was I prepared to deal with the crowds of mostly younger people that queued up to see it last weekend. It didn’t need my money, as it took in a whopping $153 million in its opening weekend! Wrath of the Titans – the seemingly unnecessary sequel to the pedestrian Clash of the Titans – was a film I had no interest in seeing at the theater. The trailer for this looked slightly better than the first film and the reviews seem to indicate that the tone is lighter than its predecessor (the acutely somber tone of CotT is what I disliked the most about it), but in the end, I just wasn't enticed enough to make the time to see it on the big screen.

Receiving the fewest votes was Mirror Mirror with two votes (16%), a PG rated modern update on the Snow White fairy tale that was definitely not aimed at my demographic, which is just one of many reasons why I won’t be seeing this film either at the theater or on video. The slightly more action-oriented Snow White and the Huntsman, the second of the two Snow White re-imaginings coming out in June,  appeals to me more and I might see it at the theater if The Bride liked these type of films (which she doesn’t) or if I had an age-appropriate daughter (which I don’t).

Thank you all for voting on this month’s poll! There are now twelve of you who may consider yourselves Genre Guardian Generals! Anyone who has seen The Hunger Games, Wrath of the Titans or Mirror Mirror at the theater, please leave a quick comment here and let me know what you thought of it!

 

THE APRIL 2012 POLL!

 

Once again on the right column of this page, you will see at the top of the column the next poll that I’ve posted. This second poll includes the titles and release dates of all the major SF, Fantasy or Horror films that are being distributed to movie theaters in the month of April 2012. They are: Cabin in the Woods, Lockout, The Raven and The Pirates! Band of Misfits. As always, I’d appreciate anyone who reads GUARDIANS OF THE GENRE! to place a vote for any of these films that you plan on seeing at the theater. This month’s films are a particularly uninspiring lot and Cabin in the Woods is the only film I would see at the theater – if I had someone that liked these types of horror films to see it with. I suspect that I could persuade Phileas to see Lockout at the cinema - he being the diehard science fiction film fanatic that he is - but anyone who has seen the five-minute-trailer featuring a fight scene over a huge turbine will not be surprised to hear that I will not be doing that. So, it seems I’ll be staying away from the movie theater for the month of April.

Thank you for reading GUARDIANS OF THE GENRE! and hopefully participating in the new poll!