Monday, April 8, 2013


In the final installment of Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Five -- which I've titled “Baron Bones Buried Undead" -- Baron Blood E. Bones is sitting on Zombzany's throne unattended by his zombie manservant. Apparently, all the gory films that they have been showing on the all-vampire marathon has made Blood E. thirsty and during the film had ordered Zombzany to fetch him a bottle of blood from one of Zombzany’s vintage vaults. While awaiting Zombzany’s return, Baron Blood E. Bones fills in for Zombzany by telling his viewers how Count Gore De Vol went from an out-of-work broadcast horror host, to hosting his own weekly webcast on his very own website. Returning with the bottle of blood, Zombzany places the bottle into the eager boney hands of the Baron. Not wanting to wait another minute to swill down the bloody brew, Baron Blood E. Bones orders Zombzany to introduce the next feature film, Dracula 2000. Zombzany’s less-than-flattering description of the film causes the Baron to question Zombzany, but Zombzany assures the Baron that he is just having some fun with the film. Baron Blood E. Bones enthusiastically orders “Doc” Freak to start the movie.

Returning from the movie, Baron Blood E. Bones is obviously impatient to watch the final fangtastic feature, until Zombzany reminds him that the viewers may want to know where the video tapes of Count Gore De Vol that they have been watching might be procured. Perhaps slightly drunk on the bottled blood, the Baron humors his undead slave and allows Zombzany one last monologue. Baron Blood E. Bones then goes on to describe in deathly detail the many things that make the last film of the marathon, The Forsaken, a “bloody good show.”

Once the film has concluded, Baron Blood E. Bones begins to realize that both Zombzany and “Doc” Freak appear to have disappeared from the cemetery during its run. The Baron grabs the camera off the tripod where Freak had left it and proceeds to search the perimeter of Zombzany’s cemetery for either of his missing manservants. Finally, Baron Blood E. Bones sees “Doc” Freak standing next to an abandoned tool shed in some sort of hypnotic state. Distracted by Freak, the Baron is unaware of someone who has snuck up behind him and pushed him forcefully to the ground. Impeded by unknown forces, Baron Blood E. Bones is unable to get out of what appears to be a shallow grave that he has fallen in, when he sees a familiar formidable figure looming at the edges of his increasingly foggy vision. Crying out in vain, Baron Blood E. Bones is slowly but steadily being buried alive!

Enjoy Zombzany Meets Blood E. Bones -- Part Five -- Baron Bones Buried Undead!